（演奏不和谐的爵士乐） (DISCORDANT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
（音乐结束） (MUSIC ENDS)
乔：好吧 我们试试别的 JOE: All right, let's try somethin' else.
（乐器演奏不协调） (INSTRUMENTS PLAYING DISCORDANTLY)
-（棒敲击）-（音乐停止） -(STICK TAPPING) -(MUSIC STOPS)
呃 从顶部开始 准备好了 一 二 三 Uh, from the top. Ready. One, two, three.
（学生们不和谐地演奏着开场白） (STUDENTS PLAYING INTRO DISCORDANTLY)
（拍了起来） (BEAT PICKING UP)
（有节奏地）一 二 三 四 (RHYTHMICALLY) One, two, three, four.
-保持节奏 -（演奏爵士乐） -Stay on the beat. -(PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)
二 三 四 Two, three, four.
那是C-sharp 霍恩斯 That's C-sharp, horns.
（猛烈地吹） (BLOWING SHARPLY)
二 三 我看到你了 卡莱布 Two, three... I see you, Caleb.
瑞秋 现在是你了 Rachel, now you.
忘了我的萨克斯了 G先生 Forgot my sax, Mr. G.
好吧 她忘了吹萨克斯 现在 你们所有人 康妮 Okay, she forgot her sax. And now, all you, Connie.
去吧！ Go for it!
（即兴独奏） (PLAYING IMPROVISED SOLO)
男孩：干得好！ BOY: Way to go!
（学生咯咯笑） (STUDENTS GIGGLING)
（康妮叹了口气） (CONNIE SIGHS)
等等 等等 你们在笑什么？ Hang on, hang on. What are y'all laughing at?
所以康妮有点迷路了 So Connie got a little lost in it.
这是件好事 That's a good thing.
听着 我记得有一次 Look, I remember one time
我爸爸带我去了爵士俱乐部 my dad took me to this jazz club,
那是我最不想去的地方 and that's the last place I wanted to be.
但当我看到这个家伙 But then I see this guy,
他用四分音符弹奏这些和弦 and he's playing these chords with fourths on it,
然后是小调 and then with the minor...
-（小调）哦 哦 哦 -(MINOR KEYS PLAY) -Oh, oh, whoo.
然后他加入了内心的声音 就好像他 Then he adds the inner voices, and it's like he's...
就像他在唱歌 It's like he's singing.
我发誓 我知道的下一件事 And I swear, the next thing I know...
（播放级联音符） (PLAYS CASCADING NOTES)
…就像他漂浮在舞台上 ...it's like he floats off the stage.
（弹奏悠扬的颤音） (PLAYING MELODIOUS TRILLING NOTES)
那家伙沉浸在音乐中 That guy was lost in the music.
他在里面 他把我们其他人都带走了 He was in it, and he took the rest of us with him.
（继续弹奏悠扬的颤音） (CONTINUES PLAYING MELODIOUS TRILLING NOTES)
我想学 And I wanted to learn...
（弹奏和弦） (PLAYING CHORDS)
…怎么这么说 ...how to talk like that.
那时我才知道 That's when I knew...
我天生就是玩的 I was born to play.
（按升序播放） (PLAYS ASCENDING SCALE)
康妮知道我的意思 对吧 康妮？ Connie knows what I mean. Right, Connie?
我12岁了 I'm 12.
（敲门声） (KNOCK ON DOOR)
我马上回来 练习你的天平 I'll be right back. Practice your scales.
抱歉打扰一下 加德纳先生 Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Gardner.
（乐器演奏不协调） (INSTRUMENTS PLAYING DISCORDANTLY)
你在帮我的耳朵 (CHUCKLES) You're doing my ears a favor.
-嘿！-但不是你 你很好 -Hey! -Not you, though, you're good.
-他不是 -（咯咯笑） -(WHISPERS) He's not. -(CHUCKLES)
有什么事吗 阿罗约校长？ What can I do for you, Principal Arroyo?
我想亲自传达这个好消息 I wanted to deliver the good news personally.
你不再做兼职了 No more part-time for you.
你现在是我们的专职乐队老师 You're now our full-time band teacher.
-（轻轻地呻吟）-工作保障 -(GROANS SOFTLY) -Job security.
医疗保险 退休金 Medical insurance. Pension.
真 的 太好了 Wow. That's, uh, great.
欢迎来到M.S.70家族 乔 永久地 Welcome to the M.S. 70 family, Joe. Permanently.
（笑）谢谢 (CHUCKLES) Thanks.
（乐器继续不和谐地演奏） (INSTRUMENTS CONTINUE PLAYING DISCORDANTLY)
利巴：这么多年过去了 我的祈祷得到了回应 LIBBA: After all these years, my prayers have been answered.
全职工作 A full-time job.
工人 过来 Working man, coming through.
是的 妈妈 但是我 Yeah, Mom, but I...
你要告诉他们是的 对吗？ You're going to tell them yes, right?
别担心 妈妈 我有个计划 Don't worry, Mom, I got a plan.
你总是有计划的 You always got a plan.
也许你也需要一个后备计划 Maybe you need to have a backup plan, too,
-当你的计划失败时 -（女人呻吟） -for when your plan falls through. -(WOMAN GROANING)
-后援计划不会有坏处 -（乔叹了口气） -A backup plan never hurts. -(JOE SIGHS)
乔伊 我们没费什么劲教你 Joey, we didn't struggle giving you an education
所以你可能是个中年人 so you could be a middle-aged man
在我店里洗你的内衣 washing your underwear in my shop.
裤子上有个洞到处走来走去 Walking around with a hole in his pants.
-是的 但是 -有了这份工作 你就能 -Yeah, but... -With this job, you'll be able
把死胡同抛在脑后 to put that dead-end gigging behind you.
上帝知道我们需要更多的老师 And Lord knows we need more teachers in this world.
想想看 And just think,
演奏音乐最终将成为你真正的职业 playing music will finally be your real career.
所以你要告诉他们是的 对吗？ So you're going to tell them yes, right?
请答应我 Please say yes.
是的 当然 Yeah, definitely.
利巴：很好 LIBBA: Good.
-（乔叹气）-（爵士乐铃声播放） -(JOE SIGHS) -(JAZZ MUSIC RINGTONE PLAYING)
你好？ Hello?
你好吗 G先生？ How you been, Mr. G?
呃 是柯利 拉蒙特 拉蒙·贝克 Uh, it's Curley. Lamont. Lamont Baker.
嘿 科利！嘿 很高兴听到你的声音 伙计 Hey, Curley! Hey, good to hear your voice, man.
休斯敦大学 听 你现在可以叫我乔了 科利 Uh... Listen. You can call me Joe now, Curley.
我不再是你的老师了 I'm not your teacher anymore.
哦 好的 加德纳先生 CURLEY: Oh, okay, Mr. Gardner.
嘿 听着 我是多萝西娅·威廉姆斯四重奏的新鼓手 Hey, look, I'm the new drummer in the Dorothea Williams Quartet,
我们将在今晚的半音符表演开始我们的巡演 and we're kickin' off our tour with a show at The Half Note tonight.
多萝西娅·威廉姆斯！你在开玩笑吧？ Dorothea Williams! Are you kidding me?
你在开玩笑吧？恭喜你 伙计 哇！ Are you kidding me? Congratulations, man. Wow!
我会幸福地死去 I would die a happy man
如果我能和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起表演 if I could perform with Dorothea Williams.
哦 好吧 今天可能是你的幸运日 CURLEY: Oh, well, this could be your lucky day.
（欢快的爵士乐演奏） (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
-（轮胎刺耳）-（汽车喇叭响） -(TIRES SCREECH) -(CAR HORN BLARES)
（萨克斯管演奏） (SAXOPHONE PLAYING)
-柯利：喔 他在那儿 -嘿 柯利 -CURLEY: Whew, there he is. -Hey, Curley.
利昂逃城真的让我们陷入困境 伙计 Leon skipping town really put us in a bind, man.
-是的 呃 我敢打赌 -我很高兴你来了 -Yeah. Uh, I'll bet. -I'm glad you made it.
我儿子 毕晓普 说他去年和你在布鲁克林的一个片场里坐过 My boy, Bishop, said he sat in with you on a set last year in Brooklyn.
说你很棒 Said you were great.
（咯咯笑）嗯 你知道 对于一家咖啡店来说 (CHUCKLES) Well, you know, for a coffee shop.
（萨克斯管即兴独奏） (SAXOPHONE PLAYING IMPROVISED SOLO)
科莉：嘿 多萝西娅 CURLEY: Hey, Dorothea.
这就是我告诉你的那只猫 This is the cat I was telling you about.
我以前的中学乐队老师 加德纳先生 My old middle school band teacher, Mr. Gardner.
叫我乔 多萝西娅 Call me Joe, Dorothea.
休斯敦大学 呃 我是说 威廉姆斯小姐 Uh... Uh, I mean, Miss Williams.
很荣幸 真 的 这太神奇了 It's a pleasure. Wow. This is amazing.
柯利：呃 乔是雷·加德纳的儿子 CURLEY: Uh, Joe is Ray Gardner's son.
所以 我们现在是中学乐队老师了 So, we're down to middle school band teachers now.
快上来 教书 我们没时间了 Get on up here, Teach, we ain't got all day.
（乐队演奏很酷的爵士乐） (BAND PLAYS COOL JAZZ MUSIC)
-什么 我们在玩什么？-（钢琴敲击音符） -What... What are we playin'? -(HITS NOTE ON PIANO)
（乐队继续演奏） (BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)
（断断续续地演奏相应的音符） (PLAYS CORRESPONDING NOTES HALTINGLY)
（弹奏相应的和弦） (PLAYING CORRESPONDING CHORDS)
（弹奏即兴音符） (PLAYING IMPROVISED NOTES)
（弹奏悠扬的颤音） (PLAYING MELODIOUS TRILLING NOTES)
（继续演奏即兴的颤音） (CONTINUES PLAYING IMPROVISED TRILLING NOTES)
（音乐结束） (MUSIC ENDS)
呃 对不起 Uh, sorry.
我在后面划了一点 （咯咯笑） I zoned out a little back there. (CHUCKLES)
乔·加德纳 你去哪儿了？ Joe Gardner, where have you been?
我曾经 呃 教过 中学乐队 I've been, uh, teaching, middle school band.
但是在周末 我 Uh, but on the weekends, I...
-你有西装吗？-呃 -You got a suit? -Uh...
穿西装 教书 一套好衣服 Get a suit, Teach. A good suit.
今晚回到这里 第一场演出是9点 Back here tonight. First show's at 9:00.
声音检查是在7点 Soundcheck's at 7:00.
我们看看你怎么样 We'll see how you do.
对！呜呜！ Yes! Whoo-hoo!
你看到了吗 爸爸？这就是我要说的！ You see that, Dad? That's what I'm talking about!
嘿 抬头 抬头 Hey, look up, look up.
你知道那会说什么吗？乔·加德纳！ You know what that's gonna say? Joe Gardner!
（乔笑道） (JOE LAUGHS)
你永远不会相信刚刚发生的事 You're never gonna believe what just happened.
我做到了 我拿到了工作 对！ I did it. I got the gig. Yes!
一、 我知道 I... I know.
多萝西娅·威廉姆斯！你能相信吗？ Dorothea Williams! Can you believe it?
嘿 伙计 你会受伤的！ Hey, pal, you're gonna get hurt!
别告诉我妈妈这件事 可以？ Just don't tell my mom about this. Okay?
忘了上课 我在另一个班 Forget class. I'm in a different class.
我在多萝西娅·威廉姆斯的班上 伙计 I'm in a Dorothea Williams class, buddy.
你知道我在说什么吗？我是 You know what I'm saying? I'm...
-（吠叫）-哇！对不起的！ -(BARKS) -Whoa! Sorry!
-（喇叭声）-（喘息） -(HORN BLARES) -(GASPS)
（松了一口气） (SIGHS IN RELIEF)
（尖叫） (SCREAMS)
（咕噜声） (GRUNTS)
（沉闷空灵的音乐） (SOMBER ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS)
什么 What the...
（回音）喂？ (ECHOING) Hello?
你好？ Hello?
（沉闷的空灵音乐继续） (SOMBER ETHEREAL MUSIC CONTINUES)
什么 What the...
（呜咽） (WHIMPERS)
嘿！嘿 嘿 嘿！你好！ Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hello!
（叹气）你好 (SIGHS) Hello.
哦 亲爱的 你叫什么名字？ Oh, what's your name, honey?
呃 我是乔 乔·加德纳 Uh, I'm Joe. Joe Gardner.
听着 我不应该在这里 Look, I'm not supposed to be here.
啊 你一定很突然 Ah. Must have been sudden for you.
你看 乔 我已经106岁了 You see, Joe, I'm 106 years old.
等了很久了 Been waiting a long time for this.
-为了什么？-伟大的未来 -For what? -The Great Beyond.
乔：伟大的未来？ JOE: The Great Beyond?
-像在 在超越生命？-是的 -As in, as in beyond life? -Yeah.
-那就是死亡？-（说因纽特语） -That's death right there? -(SPEAKING INUKTITUT)
这打破了我关于海象的梦想 This beats my dream about the walrus.
（英语）令人兴奋 不是吗？ (IN ENGLISH) Exciting, isn't it?
不 不 不 听着 No, no, no, listen.
我今晚有个演出 我现在不能死 I have a gig tonight. I can't die now.
男灵魂：（笑）嗯 我真的不认为 MALE SOUL: (CHUCKLES) Well, I really don't think
你有很多话要说 you have a lot to say about this.
对 是的 我知道 Yes. Yes, I do.
我不会在我得到注射的那一天就死 我该来了 I'm not dying the very day I got my shot. I'm due.
见鬼 我迟到了 Heck, I'm overdue.
呃 呃 呃 我要走了 Uh-uh, uh-uh. I'm outta here.
我不认为你应该走那条路 I don't think you're supposed to go that way.
这不可能发生 我今天不高兴 This can't happen. I'm not dyin' today.
当我的生活刚刚开始的时候 Not when my life just started.
（噼啪声） (CRACKLES)
那是什么？ What was that?
等待 我还没说完 我得回去了 Wait. I'm not finished. I gotta get back.
我不想死！ I don't wanna die!
我还没说完 我还没说完 快跑！ I'm not done. I'm not done. Run!
-你为什么不跑？-我不知道 -Why aren't you running? -I don't know.
-你们这些人怎么了？-男灵魂：我不知道 -What's wrong with you people? -MALE SOUL: I don't know.
（乔喘气） (JOE PANTING)
（女灵魂说韩语） (FEMALE SOUL SPEAKING KOREAN)
我的裤子呢？ Where are my pants?
乔：（英语）我还没说完 （咕哝着） JOE: (IN ENGLISH) I'm not done. (GRUNTING)
啊！ Ahh!
（噼啪声还在继续） (CRACKLING CONTINUES)
（喘息）哦 天哪 哦 天哪 (GASPS) Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
我很抱歉 我很抱歉 请原谅我 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
（喘气） (PANTING)
救命啊！我还没说完 我得回去了 Help! I'm not done. I gotta get back.
哦 我的 哦 天哪 Oh, my... Oh, my goodness.
（尖叫） (SCREAMING)
（天乐演奏） (CELESTIAL MUSIC PLAYING)
（低沉的叽叽喳喳） (MUFFLED CHATTERING)
-（笑声）-（乔喘息） -(LAUGHTER) -(JOE GASPS)
-（乔喘气）-（新灵魂咯咯笑） -(JOE GASPS) -(NEW SOUL GIGGLES)
（新灵魂咯咯地笑） (NEW SOULS GIGGLING)
什么？ What?
-（嘎吱声）-噢！ -(CRUNCHES) -Ow!
现在 现在 每个人 Now, now, everyone,
让我们给导师一些空间 let's give the mentor some room.
抱歉 新灵魂 37 够了 Sorry, new souls. 37, that's enough.
嘿 各位 看这里 安静的郊狼 Hey, everyone, look here. (SING-SONG) Quiet coyote.
嘘 安静的郊狼 Shh. Quiet coyote.
谁 你是谁？ Who... Who are you?
我要走到一起 I am the coming together
宇宙中所有的量子化场 of all quantized fields of the universe.
以你弱小的人脑可以理解的形式出现 Appearing in a form your feeble human brain can comprehend.
-什么？-你可以叫我杰瑞 -What? -You can call me Jerry.
杰瑞 好的 Jerry, okay.
呃 嘿 这是天堂吗？ Uh, hey, is this heaven?
（笑）没有 (LAUGHS) No.
是双打冰球棒吗？ Is it H-E-double hockey sticks?
新灵魂：地狱 新灵魂：地狱 地狱 地狱 NEW SOUL: Hell. NEW SOULS: Hell, hell, hell.
-嘘 安静的郊狼 -新灵魂：地狱 -Shh. Quiet coyote. -NEW SOUL: Hell.
很容易掉头 It's easy to get turned around.
这不是伟大的超越 这是以前的伟大 This isn't the Great Beyond. It's the Great Before.
以前的伟大？ The Great Before?
哦 我们现在称之为“你的研讨会” 重塑品牌 Oh. We call it the You Seminar now. Rebranding.
（新灵魂兴奋地喋喋不休） (NEW SOULS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
新灵魂1：地狱 NEW SOUL 1: Hell.
新灵魂2：不 不 你在这里！ NEW SOUL 2: No, no. You're here!
（咯咯笑） (ALL GIGGLING)
这是不是意味着我死了？ Does this mean I'm dead?
还没有 Not yet.
你的身体处于一种控制模式 Your body's in a holding pattern.
这很复杂 It's complicated.
我会带你回到你的小组 I'll get you back to your group.
（喘息） (GASPS)
（乔呜咽着） (JOE WHIMPERS)
快点 小家伙 上来 Come on, little souls, get on up here.
欢迎来到你的研讨会 Welcome to the You Seminar.
你要请客了 You are in for a treat.
（点击） (CLICKING)
-嗯 真奇怪 -这是什么？ -Mm, that's weird. -What is it?
-清点结束了 -打扰一下？ -The count's off. -Excuse me?
有一个灵魂不见了 清点结束了 There's a soul missing. The count's off.
呵呵 Huh.
好的 第一站是兴奋馆 Okay, first stop is the Excitable Pavilion.
你们四个 你去吧 You four. In you go.
（呼呼） (WHIRRING)
（都兴奋地笑） (ALL LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
你们五个 你们会疏远的 你们两个 为什么不呢？ You five, you'll be aloof. And you two, why not?
哦 等等 Oh, wait a minute.
这就是个性的来源？ This is where personalities come from?
当然 你认为人是天生的吗？ Of course. Do you think people are just born with them?
（模糊不清的叽叽喳喳） (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
那么 呃 他们是怎么到达地球的呢？ So, uh, how do they get to Earth, then?
他们使用地球入口 Well, they use the Earth portal.
当然 一旦他们有了完全的个性 Once they get a complete personality, of course.
你好？你好？ Hello? Hello?
（欢快的音乐演奏） (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
新灵魂：再见 NEW SOUL: Goodbye.
新灵魂2：嘘！ NEW SOUL 2: Whee!
呜呜！ Whoo-hoo!
（乔兴奋地笑了笑） (JOE LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
-（嗖嗖声）-（尖叫）等等 等等 等等 -(WHOOSHING) -(YELPS) Wait, wait, wait.
（激动的叽叽喳喳） (EXCITED CHATTER)
（新灵魂呐喊） (NEW SOULS WHOOPING)
-（乔叹气）-（顾问杰瑞A咯咯笑） -(JOE SIGHS) -(COUNSELOR JERRY A CHUCKLES)
你肯定迷路了很多 You sure get lost a lot.
顾问杰瑞D：好的 导师们 COUNSELOR JERRY D: All righty, mentors.
-在这里找到你的名字 -你好 杰瑞 -Just find your name here... -Hello, Jerry...
律师杰瑞：和我们一起进去 COUNSELOR JERRY D: ...and join us inside.
…给你找了个迷路的导师 ...got a lost mentor for you.
谢谢 杰瑞 Thanks, Jerry.
呃 听着 我不确定我应该在这里 Uh, look, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be here.
我理解 I understand.
指导并不是每个人都能接受的 Mentoring isn't for everyone.
非常欢迎你选择退出 You're more than welcome to opt out.
（喘息）实际上 仔细想想 (GASPS) Actually, on second thought,
你知道 辅导听起来很有趣 you know, the mentoring sounds like fun.
我很高兴听到这个消息 杰瑞会从这里拿走的 I'm glad to hear it. Jerry will take it from here.
谢谢 杰瑞 到那边去杰瑞那里 Thanks, Jerry. Head right on over there to Jerry.
谢谢你 杰瑞 Thank you, Jerry.
乔：这里每个人都叫杰瑞吗？ JOE: Is everyone here named Jerry?
祝你好运！ Good luck!
杰瑞 我们有麻烦了 Jerry, we've got a problem.
哦 你好 泰瑞 Oh, hello, there, Terry.
清点结束了 The count's off.
我真的很怀疑 (CHUCKLES) I seriously doubt that.
数个世纪以来都没有停止过 The count hasn't been off in centuries.
每天有151000个灵魂进入伟大的超越 151,000 souls go into the Great Beyond every day.
每分钟105.2个灵魂 杰瑞 That's 105.2 souls per minute, Jerry.
每秒1.75个灵魂 1.75 souls per second.
我数一数他们中的每一个 And I count every single one of 'em.
是的 我知道 Yep. I'm aware.
我的工作就是跟踪这些东西 杰瑞 It's my job to keep track of this stuff, Jerry.
我是会计 I'm the accountant.
我们都认为你做得很好 And we all think you're doing a wonderful job,
-不是吗 大家？-当然 -don't we, everyone? -Absolutely.
从这家伙站的地方看很不错 Looks good from where this guy's standing.
顾问杰瑞E：我会说不 COUNSELOR JERRY E: I'd say no.
我总是在数 我正在数 I'm always counting. I'm counting right now.
自从我开始说话你眨了五下眼睛 六个 You blinked five times since I started talking. Six.
正确的 既然会计是你的工作 Right. Since accounting is your job,
你为什么不解决这个问题？ why don't you figure out the problem?
-也许我会的 -太棒了 -Maybe I will. -Wonderful.
（啪的一声手指） (SNAPS FINGERS)
（新灵魂笑） (NEW SOULS LAUGHING)
你好 特里 Hello again, Terry.
别跟我装傻 Don't play dumb with me.
我们走吧 Okay, here we go.
（指关节裂开） (KNUCKLES CRACK)
“A.” "A."
（欢快的灵魂音乐演奏） (UPBEAT SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)
你好 老师们 Hello, there, mentors.
我是杰瑞 你们研讨会的顾问 I'm Jerry, a counselor here at the You Seminar.
现在你不记得了 但你以前来过这里 Now you don't remember it, but you've been here before.
但别担心 忘记分娩的创伤 But don't worry, forgetting the trauma of childbirth
是宇宙最伟大的礼物之一 is one of the great gifts of the universe.
在你们的研讨会上 Here at the You Seminar,
所有的新灵魂都被赋予了独特的个性 all new souls are given unique and individual personalities.
我是一个和蔼可亲的怀疑论者 谨慎而又浮夸 I'm an agreeable skeptic who's cautious yet flamboyant.
我是个易怒的壁花 很好奇 I'm an irritable wallflower who's dangerously curious.
我是个操纵性的自大狂 机会主义很强 I'm a manipulative megalomaniac who's intensely opportunistic.
哦 呵呵 这个可能不多 Oh-ho, this one might be a handful.
但这是地球的问题 But that's Earth's problem.
你会注意到这些灵魂都缺少一些东西 You'll notice these souls are all missing something.
这个地方有什么？ What goes in this spot?
好吧 这些灵魂需要他们的“火花” Well, these souls need their "spark."
这就是你要进来的地方 And that's where you come in.
也许你会找到他们的火花 Maybe you will find their spark
在一切的大厅里 in the Hall of Everything,
地球上任何东西都能激发灵感 where literally anything on Earth could inspire.
或者你更喜欢你的大厅 Or perhaps you'll prefer the Hall of You,
从你自己鼓舞人心的生活中精选一些时刻 featuring a selection of moments from your own inspiring life.
这火花是什么？ And just what is this spark?
（演奏欢快的曲调） (PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE)
（爵士音乐演奏） (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
（咯咯笑） (CHUCKLES)
（欢呼和掌声） (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
我知道你们都很想去工作 I know you're all excited to get to work,
祝你好运找到火花 so good luck finding the spark.
-（掌声）-找到火花 -(APPLAUSE) -Find the spark.
哇 真是信息丰富 Wow, that was informative.
现在是我最喜欢的节目了 Now, it's time for my favorite part of the program,
让你的导师和你的灵魂伴侣相匹配 matching you mentors with your soul mates.
我们的第一位导师是玛丽亚·马丁内斯 Our first mentor is Maria Martinez.
-（掌声）-玛丽亚 下来 -(APPLAUSE) -Maria, come on down.
玛丽亚是个罕见的疾病专家 Maria was a rare disease specialist
来自墨西哥大学 from the University of Mexico.
我痊愈了 我痊愈了 （笑） I'm cured. I'm cured. (LAUGHS)
她会配上我最喜欢的一个 She'll be matched with one of my favorites,
灵魂号108210121415 soul number 108,210,121,415.
-（掌声）-恭喜！你走吧 -(APPLAUSE) -Congratulations! Off you go.
我们的下一个导师是比约恩特伯格森 Our next mentor is Bjorn T. Börgensson.
（掌声） (APPLAUSE)
博根森博士是世界著名的儿童心理学家 Dr. Börgensson is a world-renowned child psychologist
他最近被授予诺贝尔奖 who was recently awarded a Nobel Prize.
我看到痛苦 死亡 毁灭 I see pain, death, destruction.
-现在怎么样？-一只漂亮的蝴蝶 -How about now? -A pretty butterfly.
（气喘吁吁） (ALL GASP)
博根森博士将与22号灵魂匹配 Dr. Börgensson will be matched with soul number 22.
哦 我们现在就要谈这个了 请原谅我 Oh, we're gonna get into this now. Excuse me.
22 你现在就从这个维度出来 22, you come out of this dimension right now.
22：（咕哝）我要告诉你多少次？ 22: (GRUNTS) How many times do I have to tell you?
-我不想去地球 -(OBJECTS CLATTERING) -I don't wanna go to Earth.
-别跟我争了 22 -22:我不想 -Stop fighting this, 22. -22: I don't wanna.
顾问杰瑞B：你会去地球的 COUNSELOR JERRY B: You will go to Earth
-有自己的生活 -22:让我来！ -and have a life. -22: Make me!
22已经在你的研讨会上呆了很长时间了 22 has been at the You Seminar for quite some time
还有像甘地这样著名的导师 and has had such notable mentors as Gandhi,
亚伯拉罕·林肯和特蕾莎修女 Abraham Lincoln, and Mother Teresa.
（笑）我让她哭了 (LAUGHS) I made her cry.
顾问杰瑞B：别理它 COUNSELOR JERRY B: Ignore that.
22:放下我 22: Put me down.
我们真的很高兴你能来 伯根森医生 We're truly glad to have you here, Dr. Börgensson.
-（咕噜声）-（22声呜咽） -(GRUNTS) -(22 WHIMPERS)
很荣幸你们为地球准备了22个 It is an honor having you prepare 22 for Earth.
我要让你希望你永远不会死 I'm gonna make you wish you never died.
大多数人都希望 22岁 Most people wish that, 22.
-（22咯咯笑）-你走吧 再见！ -(22 CHUCKLES) -Off you go. Bye!
（乔咕哝着） (JOE GRUNTS)
（音乐播放） (MUSIC PLAYING)
我们在哪？ Where are we?
比约恩：这是一个很大的进步 BJORN: That's great progress.
你应该感到非常自豪 一步一步地 You should be very proud. Step by step.
为了庆祝博根松博士的工作 In celebration of Dr. Börgensson's body of work,
我们很高兴向他颁发这个荣誉 we are pleased to present him this honorary...
比约恩：过去几周 我看到了这样的增长 BJORN: These past few weeks, I have seen such growth.
当然 我要感谢这么多人 So many people I'd like to thank, of course.
好吧 听着 我相信你的生活很精彩 Okay, look, I'm sure your life was amazing
你做了很多了不起的事 and you did amazing things,
但我们要做的是 but here's what we're gonna do.
我们在这里静静地站一会儿 We're gonna stand here in silence for a little bit,
然后我们回去 你说你试过了 then we go back out, you say you tried,
我要回到我伟大的生活而不是超越你 I go back to not living my non-life and you go to the Great Beyond.
-不 看 -你想说什么都行 比约恩 -No, look. -Talk all you want, Bjorn.
反正也不行 It's not gonna work, anyway.
我有成千上万的导师失败了 现在恨我 I've had thousands of mentors who failed and now hate me.
特蕾莎修女 Mother Teresa...
我同情每一个灵魂 I have compassion for every soul.
除了你 我不喜欢你 Except you. I don't like you.
哥白尼 Copernicus...
世界不是围绕着你转的 22岁 The world doesn't revolve around you, 22.
穆罕默德·阿里 Muhammad Ali...
你是最痛苦的人 You are the greatest pain in the butt.
玛丽·安托瓦内特 Marie Antoinette...
没人能帮你！没人！ Nobody can help you! Nobody!
谢谢 但不用了 医生 Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.
我已经知道地球的一切 I already know everything about Earth,
不值得这么麻烦 and it's not worth the trouble.
来吧 你不想填通行证吗？ Come on, don't you want to fill out your pass?
你知道吗 我在这里很舒服 (SIGHS) You know, I'm comfortable up here.
我有我的例行公事 I have my routine.
我漂浮在雾中 我做数独游戏 I float in mist, I do my Sudoku puzzles,
然后 一周一次 and then, like, once a week,
他们让我来参加你们的研讨会 they make me come to one of these You Seminars.
不太好 但我知道会发生什么 It's not great, but I know what to expect.
听着 孩子 我不是 我能对你说实话吗？ Look, kid, I'm not... Can I just be honest with you?
我不是比约恩·博根斯坦 I'm not Bjorn Borgenstein
不管他叫什么名字 我甚至不是导师 or whatever his name is. I'm not even a mentor.
不是导师？ Not a mentor?
啊 （大笑） Ah... (LAUGHING)
逆向心理学 Reverse psychology.
医生 你真是个好心理医生 You really are a good shrink, Doctor.
卡尔·荣格已经试过了 Carl Jung already tried that.
别说了！我的潜意识恨你！ Stop talking! My unconscious mind hates you!
（沮丧地咕哝）有什么办法吗 (GRUNTS FRUSTRATEDLY) Is there any way
在这里展示不同的生活？ to show a different life in this place?
（音乐微弱地播放） (MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
等待 你真的不是比约恩·博根松？ Wait. You're really not Bjorn Börgensson?
这是我的生活 It's my life.
呃 打扰一下 这是怎么回事？ Um, excuse me, what's going on here?
比纳卡喷雾剂？便宜的古龙水？ Binaca breath spray? Cheap cologne?
伙计 谁策划了这次展览？ Man, who curated this exhibit?
（咯咯笑）是的 (CHUCKLES) You did.
我去哈林区 没问题 (RAPPING ON TV) ♪ I go to Harlem, it's no problems
乔：哦 天哪 是塞德里克的说唱组 不！ JOE: Oh, my goodness. It's Cedric's rap group. No!
现在每个人都向皇后的国王鞠躬 ♪ Now everybody bow down To the Kings of Queens ♪
不 别看那些东西 我们看看这里 No, don't look at that stuff. Let's look over here.
小乔：爸爸 我不想去 YOUNG JOE: Dad, I don't wanna go.
我不喜欢爵士乐 I don't like jazz.
黑色即兴音乐 Black improvisational music.
这是我们对美国文化的伟大贡献之一 It's one of our great contributions to American culture.
至少给个机会 乔伊 At least give it a chance, Joey.
（爵士音乐演奏） (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
这就是一切开始的地方 This is where it all started.
这一刻我爱上了爵士乐 This is the moment where I fell in love with jazz.
听我说 Listen to that.
你看 这曲调只是一个让你出来的借口 See, the tune is just an excuse to bring out the you.
这就是我成为爵士音乐家的原因 And that's why I became a jazz musician.
女人：这不是我们要找的 WOMAN: It's not what we're looking for.
等等 我不记得它是怎么掉下来的 Wait a minute, that's not how I remember it going down.
有东西回来 Come back when you have something.
-对不起 乔 -对不起 乔 -Sorry, Joe. -Sorry, Joe.
男：我们在找不同的东西 MAN: We're looking for something different.
二 三 四 Two, three, four.
（乐器演奏不协调） (INSTRUMENTS PLAYING DISCORDANTLY)
（沉思的音乐演奏） (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
我的生活毫无意义 My life was meaningless.
（心电图嘟嘟声） (EKG BEEPING)
不 不 不 No, no, no.
不 我不会接受的 No, I will not accept this.
孩子 把徽章给我 我要回到我的身体 Kid, give me that badge. I'm goin' back to my body.
哦 是的 当然 在这里 Oh, yeah, sure. Here.
除非它成为地球通行证 否则我会被它困住 Unless it becomes an Earth Pass, I'm stuck with it.
（乔叹了口气） (JOE SIGHS)
好吧 如果我帮你把它变成地球通道呢？ Well, what if I help you turn it into an Earth Pass?
那你能给我吗？ Will you give it to me then?
等待 Wait...
我从没想过 我可以跳过生活 I've never thought of that. I'd get to skip life.
所以 是的！ So, yes!
但我们得先改变一下 But we gotta get this thing to change first,
我从来没能让它改变 and I've never been able to get it to change.
来吧 我对火花了如指掌 Come on. I know all about sparks.
因为我的是钢琴 Because mine is piano.
（弹奏颤音） (PLAYING TRILLING NOTES)
-真的吗？什么都没有？-22:嗯 -Really? Nothin' at all? -22: Eh.
哦 不 不是爵士乐 只是音乐 我不喜欢音乐的声音 Oh, no, not jazz, just music. I don't like music sounds.
感觉有点太过分了 It feels like a little too much.
（叹气） (SIGHS)
我可不想这样出去 Well, I'm not going out like this.
什么地方 呃 大厅？ Where's that, uh, Hall of Everything?
（新灵魂笑） (NEW SOULS LAUGHING)
乔：（咯咯笑）我马上回来 JOE: (CHUCKLES) I'll be right back.
22:别自作主张 伙计 22: Don't get ahead of yourself, pal.
顺便问一下 为什么你听起来像个中年白人女士？ By the way, why do you sound like a middle-aged white lady?
我不 I don't.
-这都是幻觉 -嗯？ -This is all an illusion. -Huh?
整个地方都是假想的 This whole place is a hypothetical.
（男声）如果我愿意的话 我可以这么说 (IN MALE VOICE) I could sound like this if I wanted to.
（用孩子的声音）或者听起来像这样 (IN KID'S VOICE) Or sound like this instead.
（用正常的声音）我甚至可以像你 (IN NORMAL VOICE) I could even sound like you.
（用乔的声音）生活太不公平了 (IN JOE'S VOICE) Life is so unfair.
我不想死 打电话给瓦兰斯 哇！ I don't wanna die. Somebody call the wambulance. Wah!
（用正常的声音）我用这个声音是因为它让人讨厌 (IN NORMAL VOICE) I just use this voice because it annoys people.
非常有效 It's very effective.
（新灵魂欢笑欢呼） (NEW SOULS LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
-（乔喘气）-别担心 他们很好 -(JOE GASPS) -Don't worry, they're fine.
（咯咯笑） (ALL GIGGLING)
你不能在这里压碎一个灵魂 You can't crush a soul here.
这就是地球上的生命的意义 That's what life on Earth is for.
乔：（嘲笑）很机智 JOE: (SCOFFS) Very witty.
可以 我们到了 Okay. Here we are.
这是一切的大厅 This is the Hall of Everything.
乔：哇！ JOE: Whoa!
（相机咔嗒声） (CAMERA CLICKS)
对！ Yes!
-哇哦 -恭喜你！ -Whoa. -Congratulations!
那么 你想从哪里开始呢？ So, where do you want to start?
来吧 Come on.
牛角包 蛋糕 烘焙可能是你的火花 Croissants, cakes. Baking could be your spark.
是 啊！但是 嗯 我不明白 Yeah! But, um, I don't get it.
-闻闻就知道了 -不能 你也不能 -Just smell it. -Can't, and neither can you.
什么？ What?
你说得对 我闻不到 You're right. I can't smell.
我们不能 我们也尝不出味道？ We can't... We can't taste, either?
所有的东西都在你的身体里 All that stuff is in your body.
-没有味道 没有味道 -或者触摸 看到了吗？ -No smell, no taste. -Or touch. See?
好吧 我明白了 继续前进 Okay, I get it. Moving on.
这不是很刺激吗？ Isn't this exciting?
火真漂亮 The fire is so pretty.
我有点想让它蔓延开来 I kinda wanna let it spread.
不 Nope.
手是硬的 Hands are hard.
图书管理员怎么样？他们很酷 How about a librarian? They're cool.
是的 太棒了 Yes, amazing.
谁不喜欢做一份吃力不讨好的工作 Who wouldn't like working at a thankless job
你总是因为预算削减而面临亏损的危险？ you're always in danger of losing due to budget cuts?
尽管我很喜欢随机地吓唬人 Though I do like the idea of randomly shushing people.
-听着 显然这 -嘘！ -Look, obviously this... -Shh!
哦 是的 那很好 Oh, yeah, that's good.
无聊的 Meh.
-嗯 -（乔叹了口气） -Meh. -(JOE SIGHING)
乔：嗯 我想就这些了 JOE: Well, I think that's everything.
-22:对不起 -你告诉我你会试试的 -22: Sorry. -You told me you'd try.
是的 我说的是实话 I did. I'm telling the truth.
如果有一件事我不是 那就是骗子 If there's one thing I'm not, it's a liar.
不像亚伯拉罕·林肯 Unlike Abraham Lincoln.
一分钱你真的没事吧？ You're really okay being on a penny?
好吧 当然 很荣幸 Well, of course. It's an honor.
好吧 但是他们让安德鲁·杰克逊上了20号 Okay, but they put Andrew Jackson on the 20.
杰克逊！ Jackson!
我能说什么 乔？地球很无聊 What can I say, Joe? Earth is boring.
那么 我们还能做什么呢？ Well, what else can we do, then?
因为我们没时间了 Because we're running out of time.
是啊 你知道 时间在这里并不重要 Yeah, you know, time's not really a thing here.
-（电子钟声）-顾问杰瑞B：时间到了！ -(ELECTRONIC CHIMES) -COUNSELOR JERRY B: Time's up!
很好的尝试 比约恩 但不必难过 Nice try, Bjorn, but no need to feel bad.
22这里可能有点挑战 22 here can be a bit of a challenge.
即使我感觉不到 请不要碰我 Even though I can't feel it, please don't touch me.
所以 让我们把你带到伟大的未来 So, let's get you to the Great Beyond.
（乔喘气） (JOE GASPS)
嗯 等等 我们忘了试试霹雳舞 Um, wait. We forgot to try breakdancer.
是 啊！我想那是我的爱好 Yeah! I think that's gonna be my thing.
砰砰的一声关上了 风车 Poppin' and lockin'. Windmills.
用舞蹈来解决我的争端 Settling my disputes with dance.
我们能再等一分钟回去试试霹雳舞吗？ Can we have one more minute to go back and try breakdancer?
拜托了 杰瑞？ Please, Jerry?
你今天看起来真不错 杰瑞 You look really good today, Jerry.
哦 好吧 我从来没见过这么热情的人 Oh, okay. I've never seen 22 this enthused.
干得好 伯根森医生 Good for you, Dr. Börgensson.
22:快跑 22: Run.
在这里 In here.
22:给你 22: Here it is.
它通向哪里？ Where does it lead?
嘿 你问的问题太多了 Hey, you ask too many questions.
你拉一下拉链怎么样 梅凯？ How about you zip it for a minute, m'kay?
-我们要去那里为什么？-因为我认识一个人 -And we're going there why? -'Cause I know a guy there.
一个能帮忙的人 像你这样的人 A guy who can help. A guy like you.
像我一样？就像在 活着？ Like me? As in, alive?
等等 你真的在帮我吗？ Wait, are you actually helping me?
乔 谁知道我在这里多久了 Joe, I have been here for who knows how long,
我从来没见过任何让我想活下去的东西 and I've never seen anything that's made me want to live.
然后 你就来了 你的生活是悲惨的 And then, you come along. Your life is sad and pathetic.
你努力工作想要回到过去 And you're working so hard to get back to it.
为什么？我是说 这个我得看看 Why? I mean, this I gotta see.
好吧 我们走吧 Okay, let's go.
（管弦乐演奏） (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
这是什么地方？ What is this place?
你知道当你们人类真的喜欢某样东西的时候 You know how when you humans are really into something
感觉你在另一个地方？ and it feels like you're in another place?
感觉你像在这个区域 对吧？ Feels like you're in the zone, right?
-乔：是的 -好吧 这就是区域 -JOE: Yeah. -Well, this is the zone.
它是物质和精神之间的空间 It's the space between the physical and spiritual.
等一下 我在这里 今天 做我的试镜 Wait a minute. I was here. Today, doing my audition.
这一定是音乐家们进入音乐流的地方 This must be where musicians come when they get into a flow.
不仅仅是音乐家 看这个 Not just musicians. Watch this.
O、 罗密欧 罗密欧 你为什么 O, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou...
排队！ Line!
（机器嗡嗡作响） (MACHINE WHIRRING)
哎呀 Oops.
看看这个 Check this out.
几十年来 我一直在和这支球队打交道 I have been messing with this team for decades.
播音员：尼克斯队又输了一场 ANNOUNCER: And the Knicks lose another one.
好吧 好吧 你认识的那个人在哪？ All right. All right. Where's this guy you know?
我得回去工作了 I gotta get back to my gig.
-好吧 我是说 他通常都在下面 -什么 -Okay. I mean, he's usually down here. -What the...
生物：（低声）做交易 CREATURE: (IN DEEP VOICE) Make a trade.
做交易 做交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
-那是什么？-嘘！ -What is that? -Shh!
-（乔喊道）-交易 做交易 -(JOE YELPS) -Make a trade. Make a trade.
22:快跑！ 22: Run!
生物：交易 交易 交易！ CREATURE: Make a trade, make a trade, make a trade!
（乔呜咽着） (JOE WHIMPERING)
（生物咕噜） (CREATURE GRUNTING)
（铃铛声） (BELL CLANGS)
（民间摇滚乐演奏） (FOLK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
哦！喂 星际旅行者们 Oh! Ahoy there, fellow astral travelers.
很高兴再次见到你 22岁 Good to see you again, 22.
月光风 你好吗？ Moonwind, how are ya?
在疯狂的边缘 谢谢你的邀请 On the brink of madness, thanks for asking.
嘿 有你的要求 Hey, got a request for you.
嗯 是的 我想回到我的身体 Uh, yeah. I'm trying to get back to my body.
你能帮助我吗？ Can you help me?
我们就是这么做的 That's what we do.
我们是无国界的神秘主义者 We are the mystics without borders.
致力于帮助地球上迷失的灵魂找到他们的路 Devoted to helping the lost souls of Earth find their way.
我是月光之星舞者为你服务 I'm Moonwind Stardancer at your service.
那是Windstar Dreamermoon舞星Windmoon That's Windstar Dreamermoon, Dancerstar Windmoon,
这就是梦幻之风梦幻之梦 and that's Dreamerwind Dreamerdreamer.
这些怪人会帮我回去吗？ These weirdos are going to help me get back?
等等 Just wait.
舞者：让我们把失去的灵魂带回家 DANCERSTAR: Let's get this lost soul back home.
制造一种生物 CREATURE: Make a trade.
做交易 做交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
可怜的家伙 Poor fellow.
月风：有些人就是不能放下自己的焦虑和困扰 MOONWIND: Some people just can't let go of their own anxieties and obsessions,
让他们失去了生命 leaving them lost and disconnected from life.
-（演奏民乐）这就是结果 -(PLAYING FOLK MUSIC) -And this is the result.
生物：做个交易 做交易 CREATURE: Make a trade. Make a trade.
做交易 做交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
（用正常的声音）做交易？ (IN NORMAL VOICE) Make a trade?
看起来像另一个对冲基金经理 Looks like another hedge fund manager.
现在 重新连接你的肉体 Now, to reconnect to your earthly body.
对冲基金经理：哇 那是我 HEDGE FUND MANAGER: Whoa. That's me.
非常感谢 Thank you.
我这辈子在干什么？ What am I doing with my life?
我还活着！我还活着！自由吧！ I'm alive! I'm alive! Free yourselves!
（笑）真漂亮！ (LAUGHS) It's beautiful!
哇哦 他就这样回来了？ Whoa. He got back just like that?
我的身体就要这么做？ So this is all I had to do to get back to my body?
-（喘气）-天啊 伙计！ -(GASPS) -Egads, man!
乔 你死了吗？ Joe, are you dead?
不 不 嗯 还没有 No, no. Well, not yet.
你能帮我回去吗？ Can you help me get back?
我们从来没有把一个没有束缚的灵魂和它的身体联系起来 We've never connected an untethered soul back to its body before.
但如果我们去一个小地方 But perhaps if we travel to a thin spot...
对！全体上船！ Yes! All aboard!
抛锚！ Anchors away!
（铃铛声） (BELL CLANGS)
（民间摇滚乐演奏） (FOLK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
如果你的灵魂在这里 你的身体在哪里？ So if your souls are here, where are your bodies?
当然 在地球上 Well, on Earth, of course.
我的身体在巴拉望恍惚 My body is in a trance in Palawan.
我在玩西藏的萨拉斯瓦蒂舞 I'm playing the Saraswati veena in Tibet.
我是在加州伯克利市冥想的萨满治疗师 I'm a shamanic healer meditating in Berkeley, California.
嗯 让我猜猜 你在打鼓 吟唱 冥想？ Mm-hmm. And let me guess, you're drumming, chanting, and meditating?
对 差不多吧 Yes. Something like that.
（欢快的音乐轻轻地播放） (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
我在纽约市14号和7号街角 I'm in New York City, on the corner of 14th and 7th.
哦 是的 这是托尼·托尼·托尼奥斯说的 Oh, yeah, that's right up from Tony Tony Tonios.
是的 没错 Yes, precisely.
那你呢？我以为你恨地球 And what about you? I thought you hated Earth.
是的 我没有被尸体困住 Yeah, I'm not stuck with a body.
所以我可以去任何我想去的地方 So I can go wherever I want.
没人知道吗？ I'm a nobody, get it?
我们神秘主义者每周二都会在这片美丽的风景中相遇 We mystics meet in this glorious landscape every Tuesday.
（生物抱怨） (CREATURES GRUMBLING)
他们中的很多人 可悲 So many of them. Sad.
你知道 迷失的灵魂没什么不同 You know, lost souls are not that different
从区域内的人那里 from those in the zone.
-什么？-这个区域很有趣 -What? -The zone is enjoyable,
但当这种快乐成为一种困扰时 一个人就与生活脱节了 but when that joy becomes an obsession, one becomes disconnected from life.
灵魂：（扭曲）必须找到它 SOUL: (DISTORTED) Gotta find it.
一定要找到它 一定要找到它 Gotta find it. Gotta find it.
有一段时间 我自己也是一个迷失的灵魂 For a time, I was a lost soul myself.
-真的吗？-俄罗斯方块 -Really? -Tetris.
（民间摇滚乐继续播放） (FOLK ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
月光风：你来了 MOONWIND: There you are.
我们很快就会把你接回来的 We'll have you back in no time.
你和你的身体没有联系 因为你现在 Now, since you don't have a connection to your body,
你必须调整到你的物理环境 you will have to tune back into your physical surroundings.
闭上你的眼睛 Close your eyes.
呼吸到你的顶轮 Breathe into your crown chakra.
（民乐演奏） (FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
我们真的需要这些吗？ Do we really need all this?
-是的！-（叹气） -Yes! -(SIGHS)
你船上有钢琴吗？我可以集中精力 Do you have a piano on board? I could focus with that.
没有钢琴 乔 你必须集中注意力 No pianos, Joe. You must focus.
（耳语）想象一下寂静 (WHISPERS) Imagine silence.
嘘 Shh.
现在 专注于你的身体在哪里 Now, concentrate on where your body is.
倾听提示 Listen for cues.
（汽车喇叭鸣响） (CAR HORNS HONKING)
就这样 你在做 That's it. You're doing it.
不许偷看 保持你的冥想状态 No peeking. Maintain your meditative state
否则你会断了连接 or you'll break the connection.
现在 看看你是否能闻到并感觉到你的身体在哪里 Now, see if you can smell and feel where your body is.
-（心电图嘟嘟声）-我听到心脏监护仪的声音 -(EKG BEEPING) -I hear a heart monitor.
我能闻到洗手液的味道 I can smell hand sanitizer.
月光风：是的 对！很好 MOONWIND: Yes. Yes! Good.
乔：我想我能感觉到我的脚 JOE: I think I can feel my feet.
嗯 我摸到毛皮了 Hmm. I feel fur.
你找到近亲了吗？ WOMAN: Did you find a next of kin?
乔：（虚弱地）我摸到毛皮了 JOE: (WEAKLY) I feel fur.
你听到了吗？ Did you hear that?
哦 治疗猫起作用了 Oh, the therapy cat is working.
我接近了吗？我什么时候能跳进去？ Am I close? When can I jump in?
看！我来了 Look! There I am.
我来了 There I am.
-（快速嘟嘟声）-他的心率在加快 -(BEEPING RAPIDLY) -His heart rate is increasing.
我去叫医生 I'll get the doctor.
Mittens先生 你呆在那儿 Mr. Mittens, you stay right there.
-我们还在等什么？-不 乔 别着急 -What are we waiting for? -No, Joe, don't rush this.
-现在不是时候 -乔：不 是我的时间 -It's not the right time. -JOE: No, it's my time.
22:等等 不是我！ 22: Wait, not me!
（乔尖叫） (JOE SCREAMING)
（口哨欢快的曲调） (WHISTLING JAUNTY TUNE)
（乔和22岁尖叫） (JOE AND 22 SCREAMING)
（心电图稳定地嘟嘟着） (EKG BEEPING STEADILY)
乔：（笑）我做到了 我做到了！我回来了 JOE: (CHUCKLES) I did it. I did it! I'm back.
（乔笑道） (JOE LAUGHS)
什么 What the...
不 No.
不 不 不 No. No. No.
我在猫里面？ I'm in the cat?
等一下 如果我在这里 那么谁 Wait a minute. If I'm in here, then who...
22：（呻吟）什么？乔：你在我的身体里！ 22: (GROANS) What? JOE: You're in my body!
-22:你在猫里面？-等等 等等 那是我的身体 -22: You're in the cat? -Wait, wait, that's my body.
-22:我在一具尸体里！不！-为什么你在我体内？ -22: I'm in a body! No! -Why are you in my body?
我不想当猫 我讨厌猫！ I don't wanna be a cat. I hate cats!
22:哦 真恶心 22: Oh, it's disgusting.
那个月风的家伙 把事情搞砸了 That Moonwind guy, he messed this up.
医生 你得帮帮我 那是我的身体 但我被困住了 Doc, you gotta help me. That's my body, but I'm trapped...
（喵喵） (MEOWING)
哦 不 他们不能理解我 Oh, no, they can't understand me.
他们以为你是我 你得试试 They think you're me. You gotta try.
（清嗓子）医生小姐 我们有麻烦了 (CLEARS THROAT) Miss Doctor, we have a problem.
（用乔的声音）我是一个未出生的灵魂 我想留在你的研讨会 (IN JOE'S VOICE) I'm an unborn soul and I wanna stay at the You Seminar.
是的 嗯 那药好像一点作用都没有 Yes, well, that drug doesn't seem to be working at all.
22：（用正常的声音）不 不 不 你不明白 22: (IN NORMAL VOICE) No, no, no, you don't understand.
-我不是加德纳先生 -乔：嘘！ -I'm not Mr. Gardner. -JOE: Shh!
他们会认为你疯了 They're gonna think you're nuts.
我是说 我疯了 I mean, that I'm nuts.
哦 这是怎么发生的？ Oh, how did this happen?
我掉进你的身体里是因为它没有灵魂 I fell into your body because it doesn't have a soul.
那我为什么在猫里面？ Then why am I in a cat?
我不知道！ I don't know!
（米滕斯·梅奥先生） (MR. MITTENS MEOWS)
我们能打电话给谁吗 加德纳先生？ Is there anyone we can call, Mr. Gardner?
近亲或朋友？ A next of kin or friend?
-告诉她不-呃 不 -Tell her no. -Uh, no.
你能告诉我今天是几号吗？ Can you tell me what day it is?
这是我一生中最糟糕的一天 It's the worst day of my life.
我不想在这里 我讨厌地球 I don't wanna be here. I hate Earth.
告诉你吧 我们会把你留在这里 Tell you what. We're going to keep you here
为了观察 就一会儿 for observation. Just for a bit.
也许我们的治疗猫可以去他的下一次约会 Perhaps our therapy cat can go to his next appointment.
-（咆哮）-（喘息）好的 可以 -(SNARLS) -(GASPS) Okay. Okay.
-你得和她谈谈 -（叹气）好的 -You gotta talk to her. -(SIGHS) Okay.
医生小姐 这个身体的灵魂就在这只猫身上 Miss Doctor, this body's soul is in this cat.
别说了 Stop talking.
所以很自然 他想保持亲密 So naturally, he wants to stay close.
呃 养猫 休息一下吧 Uh, keep the cat. Just get some rest.
很多 可以？ A lot of it. Okay?
我十分钟后来接米滕斯先生 I'll come get Mr. Mittens in ten minutes.
十分钟？我们得离开这里 Ten minutes? We gotta get outta here.
不可能！我不动了！ No way! I am not moving!
我不敢相信我在这个地狱般的星球上 I can't believe I'm in a body on this hellish planet.
我有弯曲的肉棍 I have bendy meat sticks.
我能感觉到自己的感觉 （插科打诨） I can feel myself feeling myself. (GAGS)
嘿！集中！听我说 Hey! Focus! Listen to me.
我们得在他们把我带走之前离开这里 We gotta get out of here before they take me away.
把你带走？你要离开我吗？ Take you away? You're gonna leave me?
不可能！你在我的身体里 No way! That's my body you're in.
好吧 你觉得你能走路吗？ Okay, do you think you can walk?
我不知道！ I don't know!
我试驾失败了436次 I failed Body Test Drive, like, 436 times.
但你能试试吗？ But will you try?
可以 一定要找到月光 他能搞定的 Okay. Gotta find Moonwind, he can fix this.
我是只猫 我可以做这个 I'm a cat. I can make this.
（古怪的爵士乐演奏） (WHIMSICAL JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
好吧 来吧 你做得很好 Okay, come on, you're doing great.
-继续 继续前进 -（22声尖叫 咕噜声） -Keep going. Keep going. -(22 YELPS, GRUNTS)
22:我要在这里休息一会儿 22: I'm just gonna rest here for a minute.
不 不 不 不 他们很快就会回来的 来吧 No, no, no, no. They'll be back any minute. Come on.
可以！（咕噜声） Okay! (GRUNTS)
-（呜咽）-（鞋子吱吱作响） -(WHIMPERS) -(SHOES SQUEAKING)
（电梯铃声） (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
（喘息） (GASPS)
-在这里！-（22声咕噜） -In here! -(22 GRUNTS)
22:哇哦 （呻吟） 22: Whoa. (GROANS)
乔：好的 很好 JOE: Okay, good.
现在按下向下按钮 Now push the down button.
-（22咕噜声）-移动你的 不 小心点 -(22 GRUNTS) -Move your... Nope. Careful.
那些手指是我的生计 Those fingers are my livelihood.
（22声呻吟） (22 GROANS)
-（按键声）-啊 -(BUTTON CLICKS) -Ugh.
-（电梯铃响）-现在上车 -(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) -Now get in.
22:呸！ 22: Phew!
22:嗯 22: Hmm.
（乔咕哝着喘着气） (JOE GRUNTING AND GASPING)
-22:嗯 —（乔叹气） -22: Hmm. -(JOE SIGHS)
好吧 月光风怎么说的？ Okay, what did Moonwind say?
他在14号和7号街角说 He said on the corner of 14th and 7th.
是的 那是切尔西 杰克逊广场公园附近 Yeah, that's Chelsea. Near Jackson Square Park.
确切地 等待 你怎么知道的？ Exactly. Wait. How do you know all that?
都在你愚蠢的脑子里 It's all in this stupid brain of yours.
嘿 嘿 嘿 呆在外面 Hey, hey, hey, stay outta there.
哦 放松 这里没什么 Oh, relax. There's not much here.
爵士乐 爵士乐 更多爵士乐 Jazz, jazz, more jazz.
哦 还有一个叫丽莎的人 那是谁？ Oh, and someone named Lisa. Who's that?
呃 没关系 Uh, never mind.
（电梯铃声） (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
一、 嗯 I, um...
这一切发生得太快了 你知道的 It's all happening too fast, you know.
我们花点时间 嗯 Let's just take a minute and, um...
快点 我们走 他们随时可能到 Come on, let's go. They could be here any second.
（22声叹息） (22 SIGHS)
（汽车喇叭鸣响） (CAR HORNS HONKING)
（直升机呼啸） (HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
（喋喋不休） (NOISY CHATTER)
（22声） (22 YELPS)
乔：别担心 没事的 继续走 JOE: Don't worry, it's okay. Just keep walking.
（钻头呜呜作响） (DRILL WHIRRING)
（吹哨） (BLOWING WHISTLE)
-（汽笛声）-（卡车喇叭声） -(SIREN WAILING) -(TRUCK HORN BLARES)
22:啊！ 22: Aah!
不 别停下来 你在做什么？ No, don't stop. What are you doing?
这是纽约市 This is New York City.
你不能停在街中央 快 快 快 You don't stop in the middle of the street. Go, go, go.
-（尖叫）-（乔呻吟） -(SCREAMS) -(JOE GROANS)
-（22呻吟）-（轮胎吱吱声） -(22 GROANING) -(TIRES SCREECH)
（喘息） (GASPS)
乔：哦 22号 22号！ JOE: Oh, no. 22. 22!
（气喘吁吁）22 哦 不 哦 22号 22 (PANTING) 22. Oh, no. Oh, no. 22. 22.
22号！22号！ 22! 22!
22 我不知道我有爪子 好吗？ 22, I didn't know I had claws, okay?
听着 对不起 但是来吧 我们走吧 Look, I'm sorry. But come on, let's go.
不可能 No way.
我就呆在这里直到你那愚蠢的身体死去 I am staying right here until your stupid body dies.
现在随时都会发生 因为你的胃在震动 Which will happen any minute now because your stomach is earthquaking.
（爵士音乐演奏） (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
是啊 这地方比我想象的还要糟糕 Yeah, this place is worse than I thought.
声音很大 很明亮 而且 It's loud, and bright, and...
嗯 我鼻子里是什么？ (SNIFFS) Hmm. What is that in my nose?
-这就是味道 -（深吸一口气） -That's smell. -(INHALES DEEPLY)
如果你觉得这很好 想象一下它的味道 And if you think that's good, just imagine what it tastes like.
嗯（吮吸牙齿） Hmm. (SUCKS TEETH)
继续 Go on.
太好了！（尖叫） It's so good! (SCREAMS)
是 呃 It's, uh...
这并不可怕 It's not horrible.
很好 你可以在路上吃东西 走吧 Good. You can eat on the way. Let's go.
或者你只需要几分钟 当然 Or you just take a few minutes. Sure.
（咂嘴） (SMACKING)
嗯 奇怪 我不再那么生气了 Hmm. Strange, I don't feel so angry anymore.
太好了 准备好找月光了吗？ That's great. Ready to find Moonwind?
也许 吧 Maybe.
我告诉你 乔 它的发音是yee row I'm telling you, Joe, it's pronounced yee-row.
乔：是的 但在纽约 我们叫它们陀螺 是希腊语 JOE: Yeah, but in New York, we call them gyros. It's Greek.
不 我和阿基米德吵了一架 No, I got in a fight with Archimedes about this.
他说是 He said it's...
-一排 -哟哟 -Yee-row. -Yo-yo.
-伊街 -约洛 -Yee-row. -YOLO.
-伊街 -塞吉奥？ -Yee-row. -Sergio?
耶 划！ Yee-row!
我想念那家伙 I miss that guy.
这是14号和7号 This is 14th and 7th.
一定是他 That's gotta be him.
（汽车喇叭鸣叫） (CAR HORN BEEPS)
22:月光 你得帮帮我 22: Moonwind, you gotta help me.
（尖叫） (YELPS)
乔！你让它进入你的身体 Joe! You made it into your body.
没有 他没有 No, he didn't.
那是我的身体 That is my body.
你在猫里？ You're in a cat?
太棒了！ That's marvelous!
嘿 小傻瓜！ Hey, Moonwimp!
那个标志不会自动旋转的 听到了吗？ That sign won't spin by itself, hear me?
但是 玛吉 看！我把这个人的灵魂放在猫身上 But, Marge, look! I put this man's soul in a cat.
谁在乎？和你！ Who cares? And you!
我们这里只有一个怪人的地方 所以 快走！ We only have room for one weirdo here, so, scram!
回去工作！ Get back to work!
没人懂我的艺术 No one understands my art.
月光风 听着 Moonwind, listen,
我得离开这里回到那里 I gotta get out of here and back in there.
好吧 我们得表演了 Well, we'll have to perform
老式的星体轮回移位 an old-fashioned astral transmigration displacement.
-A什么？-这只是一种方式 -A what? -It's simply a way
让你的灵魂回到属于他们的地方 to get your souls back where they belong.
这的确是一个光荣的仪式 And it's a glorious ritual, indeed,
充满了吟唱 舞蹈 最棒的是 邦戈 full of chanting, dancing, and best of all, bongos.
我要在7点前拿到半张票 所以这件事必须马上发生 I need to be at The Half Note by 7:00, so this needs to happen right now.
喔 喔 喔！别这么快 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast.
你必须等待另一个薄弱环节 You must wait for another thin spot
在地球和星体层之间打开 to open between Earth and the astral plane.
那就不会发生了 And that won't occur
直到奥库斯搬进双子座 until Orcus moves into the house of Gemini.
什么时候？ When is that?
政府称之为6:30 Well, the government calls it 6:30.
听着 我会在半音符处见你 Look, I'll meet you at The Half Note.
6： 30？你说真的吗？ 6:30? You serious?
我会收集所有必要的给养 I'll gather all the necessary provisions...
-我说 离开这里！快走！-（22声尖叫） -I said, get out of here! Go! -(22 SCREAMS)
月风：六点半见！ MOONWIND: See you at The Half Note at 6:30!
我会处理好一切的！ I'll take care of everything!
离我远点！ And stay away!
（悠扬的音乐演奏） (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
泰瑞：这里当然有很多加西亚 TERRY: Sure are a lot of Garcias in here.
你在外面的某个地方 小家伙 You're out there somewhere, little soul,
我会找到你的 and I'm gonna find ya.
乔：好吧 这是最后的零食了 JOE: All right, this is the last snack.
我几乎穿不下裤子 I can barely fit into my pants as it is.
6： 30号正在接近 太近了 6:30 is cutting it close. Too close.
我们得回我家把你打扫干净 We gotta get back to my place and get you cleaned up and...
啊！（干呕 叹气） Ahh! (RETCHES, SIGHS)
我们得叫辆出租车 伸出你的手 We gotta hail a cab. Hold your hand out.
把它拿出来 Hold it up and out.
伙计 即使我没穿医院的礼服 这也很难 Man, this would be hard even if I wasn't wearing a hospital gown.
（轮胎尖叫） (TIRES SCREECH)
快 快 快！快去那个地方 Go, go, go! Just run to that one.
（喘息） (GASPS)
多萝西娅：这是教诲吗？ DOROTHEA: Is that Teach?
-22:嗯 意大利香肠 -（乔喘气） -22: Mm, pepperoni. -(JOE GASPS)
（乔扮演米特斯先生的呼噜声） (JOE AS MR. MITTENS YOWLING)
乔：啊 多萝西娅·威廉姆斯看见我了 JOE: Aah, Dorothea Williams saw me.
我该怎么办？她会觉得我疯了 What am I gonna do? She's gonna think I'm crazy.
也许你应该给她打个电话 Maybe you should call her up
告诉她我们没疯 and tell her that we're not crazy.
我只做了一个小时的人 就连我都知道那是个坏主意 I've only been a person for an hour, and even I know that's a bad idea.
乔：我要回到我的身体里 今晚真的带着它 JOE: I just gotta get back in my body and really bring it tonight.
为什么这部分很臭 但这部分闻起来很香？ How come this part is stinky but this part smells fine?
不要介意 把裤子穿上 Never mind. Just put those pants on.
希什 我真不敢相信我 Sheesh, I can't believe I've been
不穿裤子在这个城市里走来走去 walking around in this city with no pants on.
22:我都不想在这里 记得吗？ 22: I don't even wanna be here, remember?
我也不想你在这里 我只是 I don't want you here either. I just...
我只想回到我的身体 I just wanna get back to my body,
然后回到（打哈欠）俱乐部 then get back to the (YAWNS) club.
-（打鼾）-你怎么了？ -(SNORING) -What's the matter with you?
（睡意朦胧）呃 我不知道 是太阳 只是 (SLEEPILY) Uh... I don't know. It's the sun. It's just so...
-（打哈欠）-（手机震动） -(YAWNS) -(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
乔：我的电话！ JOE: My phone!
22:嗯 好吧 你的衣服又响了 22: Um... Okay, your clothes are rumbling again.
（播放爵士乐铃声） (JAZZ MUSIC RINGTONE PLAYING)
科利！休斯敦大学 不 不 Curley! Uh... No, no.
（咕哝着） (GRUNTING)
哎呀 Oops.
-（手机震动）-（喘息） -(CELL PHONE VIBRATES) -(GASPS)
柯利：嘿 G先生 我是柯利 嗯 （叹气） CURLEY: Hey, Mr. G, it's Curley. Um... (SIGHS)
我希望你没事 I hope you're doin' okay.
多萝西娅看到你吓坏了 她打电话给另一个人 罗伯特 Dorothea freaked out when she saw you, and she called this other guy, Robert.
他现在有工作了 我很抱歉 He's got the gig now. I'm sorry.
-不 不 不 —（柯利叹了口气） -No, no, no. -(CURLEY SIGHS)
听着 老实说 CURLEY: Look, honestly,
你的课是我上学的唯一原因 your class was the only reason I went to school at all.
我欠你很多 Like, I owe you a lot.
所以 计划是这样的 So, here's the plan.
把自己清理干净 穿上杀手服 Clean yourself up, put on a killer suit,
早点去俱乐部 and get to the club early.
我要试着和她谈谈 I'm gonna try and talk to her.
一定要让你看起来像个百万富翁 好吗？ Just make sure you show up looking like a million bucks, all right?
我希望能见到你 伙计 好吧 和平 I hope I see you, man. All right. Peace.
哦！我可以拿回那份工作 22岁 Oh! I can get the gig back, 22.
我需要你的帮助 我有一套西装 I need your help. I have a suit.
我需要你试穿一下 I'm gonna need you to try it on.
22:不 不 不 22: No, no, no.
乔：然后我可以把头发梳成一条直线 JOE: And then I can line my hair up a little bit,
-我可以 -22:没有 没办法 没办法 -and I can... -22: Nope. No way, no how.
-22号！-（敲门声） -22! -(KNOCK ON DOOR)
（乔喘气） (JOE GASPS)
-女孩：加德纳先生？-啊！ -GIRL: Mr. Gardner? -Ah!
我是康妮 她是来上课的 It's Connie. She's here for her lesson.
-我做什么？-康妮：我听得见！ -What do I do? -CONNIE: I can hear you!
告诉她你今天不能做 Just tell her that you can't do it today.
22:嗨 康妮 22: Hi, Connie.
对不起 乔今天不能做 Sorry, but Joe can't do it today.
乔：你是乔！22:我是说 我 JOE: You're Joe! 22: I mean, me.
我今天不行 Me can't do it today.
乔：很好 现在我们去看看那套衣服 JOE: Good. Now let's go check out that suit.
康妮：我是来告诉你我辞职的 CONNIE: I came to tell you that I quit.
-22:退出？-（乔呻吟） -22: Quit? -(JOE GROANS)
我们没时间了 这套衣服在衣柜里 We don't have time for this. The suit is in the closet.
康妮：乐队真是浪费时间 CONNIE: Band is a stupid waste of time.
这孩子说话很有道理 This kid is talking sense.
乔：你在干什么？ JOE: What are you doing?
我不干了 我认为爵士乐毫无意义 Here, I quit. I think jazz is pointless.
哦 是的 爵士乐毫无意义 Oh, yeah, jazz is definitely pointless.
乔：嘿！ JOE: Hey!
事实上 所有的学校都是在浪费时间 In fact, all of school is a waste of time.
当然 就像我的导师乔治·奥威尔常说的那样 Of course. Like my mentor, George Orwell, used to say,
“国家资助的教育 "State sponsored education
“就像泔水桶里棍子的嘎嘎声 ” "is like the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket."
是 啊！ Yeah!
统治阶级的核心课程扼杀了异议 The ruling class's core curriculum stifles dissent.
这是书中最古老的把戏 It's the oldest trick in the book.
你在说什么？ What are you talkin' about?
她一点都不在乎 She doesn't care about any of that.
从三年级开始我就这么说了 I've been saying that since the third grade.
你知道吗 你看起来很聪明 You know, you seem really smart.
你对披萨有什么看法？ What is your position on pizza?
-呃 我喜欢？-我也是！ -Uh, I like it? -Me, too!
你在做什么？（咕噜声） What are you doing? (GRUNTS)
我宁愿和康妮在一起 I'd rather hang with Connie.
什么？回来！你打开这个 What? Come back here! You open this...
（乔扮演米特斯先生的呼噜声） (JOE AS MR. MITTENS YOWLING)
嗯 我想你的猫想出去 Um, I think your cat wants to get out.
啊 他以为他什么都知道 Ugh, he thinks he knows everything.
乔：22！别离开我 JOE: 22! Don't you walk away from me.
马上过来 Come here right now.
我要进去把沙发擦干净 I'm gonna go in and I'mma scratch up the sofa.
哦 等等 那是我的沙发 Oh, wait a minute, that's my sofa.
你真的把事情搞清楚了 康妮 You really got things figured out, Connie.
我最好把这个还给你 它属于学校 I'd better give this back. It belongs to the school.
当然 Sure.
你知道 我真的很高兴还有其他人 You know, I really am glad there's someone else
谁知道这地方有多可笑 who sees how ridiculous this place is.
你辞职是对的 我学会了放弃 You're right to quit. I learned about quitting...
你知道吗 G先生？ You know what, Mr. G?
我昨天在练习这个 I was practicing this one thing yesterday
也许你可以听听 然后告诉我以后辞职 好吗？ and maybe you can listen to it and tell me to quit after, okay?
（演奏曲调） (PLAYING TUNE)
呃 好吧 Uh, okay.
（演奏即兴爵士曲调） (PLAYING IMPROVISED JAZZ TUNE)
（砰的一声） (THUD)
-（深深地呼气）-哇 你真的很喜欢这个 -(EXHALES DEEPLY) -Wow. You really love this.
是 啊 Yeah.
所以 也许我最好还是坚持下去？ So, maybe I'd better stick with it?
是 啊 Yeah.
康妮：再见 G先生 CONNIE: Bye, Mr. G.
下周见！ See you next week!
乔：22！ JOE: 22!
-（乔咕哝着）-所以 康妮是来这里辞职的 -(JOE GRUNTS) -So, Connie came here to quit,
但后来她没有 but then she didn't.
22 算了吧 听 22, forget about that. Listen.
我需要知道这个 乔 她为什么不辞职？ I need to know this, Joe. Why didn't she quit?
因为她喜欢玩 Because she loves to play.
她可能会说她讨厌一切 但长号是她的东西 She might say she hates everything, but trombone is her thing.
她很在行 She's good at it.
也许长号是她的火花 我不知道 Maybe trombone is her spark, I don't know.
拜托 如果我想把这个工作拿回来 我需要你的帮助 Please. If I'm gonna get this gig back, I need your help.
可以 Okay.
真的？ Really?
我会帮你的 但我想试试 I'll help you, but I wanna try a few things.
因为我不知道 'Cause I don't know,
有些不像你的研讨会那么无聊 some of it's not as boring as it is at the You Seminar,
如果康妮能在这里找到她喜欢的东西 and if Connie can find something she loves here,
也许我也可以 maybe I can, too.
太好了！-那么 我们首先要做什么？ -Great! -So, what do we do first?
（22尖叫） (22 SCREAMING)
-22:这水好痛！-没事的 -22: This water hurts! -It's okay.
你只要转动另一个旋钮 You just have to turn the other knob.
22:哦 好吧 这样比较好 22: Oh, okay, that's better.
我不会生气的 And I wouldn't be mad
如果你做完后在我身上抹点乳液 if you put a little lotion on me when you're done.
（液体喷射） (LIQUID SQUIRTING)
（低沉的卡嗒声） (MUFFLED RATTLING)
22:我帮你洗了屁股 22: I washed your butt for you.
啊！（吐）辣！辣的！ Ah! (SPITS) Spicy! Spicy!
（咕哝 尖叫） (GRUNTS, YELPS)
（砰的一声） (THUD)
你们五个会很不安全 You five will be insecure.
你12岁的时候会很专注 And you 12 will be self-absorbed.
我们真的不该再派这么多人穿过那个亭子了 We really should stop sending so many through that pavilion.
泰瑞：找到他了！ TERRY: Found him!
大家看到了吗？ See that, everybody?
谁知道为什么数到了？ Who figured out why the count's off?
是的 特里做到了 That's right, Terry did.
是恐怖时刻 It's Terrytime.
-哇哦 干得好 -是谁啊？ -Wow. Nice work. -Well, who is it?
正确的 （清了清嗓子） Right. (CLEARS THROAT)
休斯敦大学 乔加德纳是他的名字 Uh... Joe Gardner is his name.
他好像回到了地球上 Looks like he's back down on Earth.
那不好 That's not good.
那个 那是我们和22岁的导师 That... That's the mentor we set up with 22.
好吧 好吧 别歇斯底里了 All right, all right. Easy on the hysterics.
特里已经控制住了 我来处理 Terry's got this under control. I'll handle it.
怎么用？ How?
我去把他抓起来 I'll go down there and get him.
数到右边 利基·斯普利特 Set the count right, lickety-split.
好吧 哇 你确定这是个好主意吗？ Okay, whoa. Are you sure that's a good idea?
听着 你们都是吃了它的人 Look, you all are the ones who beefed it.
我正试着把它拆开 I'm trying to un-beef it.
但是你不能被看见 But you cannot be seen.
任何人都可以 By anyone.
别担心 我会确保没人看见我 Don't worry. I'll make sure no one else sees me.
我会像忍者一样在阴影中移动 I'll move among the shadows, like a ninja.
拜托 快一点 安静点 Please, just do it quickly and quietly.
而且很快 也很安静 And also quickly. And quietly as well.
这肯定不会是一场灾难 This won't be a disaster, that's for sure.
嗯 可靠的棕色旧西装 还是很合身 Mm. Trusty old brown suit. Still a perfect fit.
后面有点紧 It's a little tight in the back-here part.
乔：它会松的 坐下来 JOE: It'll loosen. Sit down.
我是一只猫 I'm a cat.
我会的 I'll do it.
你不能叫电梯 记得吗？ You couldn't call an elevator, remember?
不可能 我只需要排队 现在别动 No way. I just need to line me up. Now be still.
（呼呼） (WHIRRING)
呃 就像一个小电锯 Uh, it's like a little tiny chainsaw.
-别动 -我不动了 你要搬家了 -Don't move. -I'm not moving. You're moving.
（继续呼呼） (CONTINUES WHIRRING)
-（乔呜咽着）-（22声尖叫） -(JOE WHIMPERS) -(22 YELPS)
（喘息）哦 不！ (GASPS) Oh, no!
别担心 我没事 Don't worry, I'm okay.
哦 不 不 不！我的头发！我的头发不好！ Oh, no, no, no! My hair! My hair is not okay!
这是一场灾难！ This is a disaster!
（喘息）我们得解决这个问题 马上 (GASPS) We gotta fix this. Right now.
-好吧 怎样？-我们得去看看迪兹 -Okay. How? -We gotta go see Dez.
伟大的 迪兹是谁？ Great. Who's Dez?
男：哟 伊恩 哥们 你怎么得到的 MAN: Yo, Ian, man, how you get
那个大花生头？你怎么了？ that big peanut head? What happened to you?
伊恩：伙计 闭嘴 伙计 你知道我对此很敏感 IAN: Man, shut up, man. You know I'm sensitive about that.
乔：迪兹是后面的那个人 JOE: Dez is the guy in the back.
他能解决这个问题 He can fix this.
谈谈有火花的事 Talk about havin' a spark.
这家伙天生就是个理发师 This guy was born to be a barber.
但我不能在你所有的朋友面前冒充你 But I can't pass for you in front of all your friends.
迪兹是我唯一能和他说话的人 Dez is the only one that I talk to.
我们通常谈论爵士乐 We usually talk about jazz,
但这一次 坐在那里 拿到钱 然后出去 but this time, just sit there, get the cut, and get out.
-（含糊不清的闲聊）-（嘻哈音乐演奏） -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
嘿 乔 你平日在这里干什么？ Hey, Joe. What are you doing here on a weekday?
你没有预约 伙计 还要一段时间 You didn't call for an appointment, man. It's gonna be a while.
啊 我害怕这个 请坐 Ah, I was afraid of this. Go ahead and sit down.
-（大家都惊呼）哦 上帝 -(ALL EXCLAIM) -Oh, my Lord.
你得等等 孩子 这是紧急情况 You gotta wait, son. This is an emergency.
什么？这不酷 迪兹 What? That ain't cool, Dez.
你可以让哈罗德剪你的头发 You could always let Harold cut your hair.
他的椅子开着 His chair's wide open.
不 我可以等 Nah. I can wait.
乔 快坐到椅子上 Joe, get your butt in this chair now.
我应该问问你这是怎么发生的吗？ Should I even ask you how this happened?
-猫做到了 -别听上去很疯狂 -The cat did it. -Stop sounding insane.
我是说 嗯 我分心了 I mean, um, I was distracted
准备今晚和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯比赛 getting ready to play with Dorothea Williams tonight.
多萝西娅·威廉姆斯？乔 那可是个大日子 Dorothea Williams? That's big time, Joe.
祝贺 你！ Congratulations!
乔没有工作 迪兹 Joe ain't getting no gig, Dez.
你知道他是克洛斯先生 但没有雪茄 You know he Mr. Close-But-No-Cigar.
（叹息）这家伙 (SIGHS) This guy.
乔 别理他 现在我们来给你安排一下 Joe, ignore him. Now let's fix you up.
你把那只猫放在腿上？ You keeping that cat on your lap?
我这样做可以吗？ Is it okay that I do that?
随你便 你是老板 Suit yourself. You're the boss.
-我是吗？-当你坐在这张椅子上 -I am? -When you're in this chair,
是的 你是 yeah, you are.
我能要一个吗？ So can I have one of those?
休斯敦大学 当然 乔 Uh... Sure, Joe.
（笑）酷 (CHUCKLES) Cool.
嗯 我喜欢坐在椅子上 Mmm. I like being in the chair.
嘿 把头放在游戏里 Hey, get your head in the game.
-小电锯 -(WHIRRING) -(YELPS) Little chainsaw.
你需要安定下来 如果你留着这个 You need to settle down. If you keep this...
（喵喵） (MEOWING)
听着 我能处理一些奇怪的事情 Look, I can deal with some freaky stuff,
但如果这只猫不冷 but if this cat don't chill,
我们得把它放在外面 we're gonna have to put it outside.
好吧 那会是什么 基蒂？ Well, what's it gonna be, kitty?
喵 Meow.
有时候 改变是好事 Sometimes, change is good.
你已经有一段时间了 You have been rocking that same style for a while.
好吧 迪兹 几百年来 我一点风格都没有 Well, Dez, for hundreds of years, I've had no style at all.
-保罗：你可以再说一遍 -（都笑了） -PAUL: You can say that again. -(ALL LAUGH)
嗯 但后来我的生活改变了 Mmm. But then my life changed.
哦 是吗？怎么搞的？ Oh, yeah? What happened?
我是作为一个理论建构而存在的 I was existing as a theoretical construct
在一个假想的中途站 in a hypothetical way station
在生与死之间 between life and death.
我听到了 I heard that.
22:当我找到266号导师时 22: And by the time I got to mentor number 266,
我是认真地问 比如 有什么好大惊小怪的？ I was seriously asking, like, what is all the fuss about?
比如 这些活着的东西真的值得为之牺牲吗？ Like, is all this living really worth dying for?
-（所有的低语都是同意的）-你知道我的意思吗？ -(ALL MURMUR AGREEINGLY) -You know what I mean?
我从来不知道你受过这么有趣的教育 乔 I never knew you had such an interesting education, Joe.
我以为你上过音乐学校 I just thought you went to music school.
22:（闷声）还有一件事 他们说你生来就是要做点什么的 22: (MUFFLED) And another thing, they say you're born to do something,
但你怎么知道那是什么东西？ but how do you figure out what that thing is?
我是说 如果你选错了怎么办？ I mean, what if you pick up the wrong thing?
或者别人的东西 你知道吗？ Or somebody else's thing, you know?
-那你就卡住了 -以前去过那里 -Then you're stuck. -Been there before.
我要一个 I'll take one of those.
我不会说自己被困住了 I wouldn't call myself stuck,
但我从来没有想过要砍头为生 but I never planned on cuttin' heads for a livin'.
等等 但你天生就是理发师 对吧？ Wait, but you were born to be a barber, weren't you?
我想成为一名兽医 I wanted to be a veterinarian.
22:那你为什么不这么做？ 22: So, why didn't you do that?
我刚从海军出来的时候正打算去 I was plannin' to when I got out of the Navy.
后来我女儿病了 Then my daughter got sick,
（笑）理发学校便宜多了 (CHUCKLES) and barber school is a lot cheaper
而不是兽医学校 than veterinarian school.
22:那太糟了 22: Well, that's too bad.
你被困在理发店 现在你不高兴了 You're stuck as a barber and now you're unhappy.
哇 哇 慢点 乔 Whoa, whoa, slow your roll there, Joe.
我很高兴 伙计 I'm happy as a clam, my man.
不是每个人都能成为发明输血的查尔斯·德鲁 Not everyone can be Charles Drew inventing blood transfusions.
22:或者我和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起弹钢琴 22: Or me, playing piano with Dorothea Williams.
-我知道 -（门打开） -I know. -(DOOR OPENS)
（笑）你不是那么好 (LAUGHS) You are not all that.
任何人想在乐队里演奏都可以 Anyone could play in a band if they wanted to.
别介意保罗 Don't pay Paul any mind.
像他这样的人只会让别人失望 People like him just bring other people down
所以他们可以让自己感觉更好 so they can make themselves feel better.
哦 我明白了 Oh, I get it.
他只是批评我来掩饰他失败的梦的痛苦 He's just criticizing me to cover up the pain of his own failed dreams.
（众人惊呼、大笑） (ALL EXCLAIM, LAUGH)
切 乔深 You cut deep, Joe.
我不知道为什么坐在这张椅子上我想告诉你一些事情 迪兹 I wonder why sitting in this chair makes me want to tell you things, Dez.
神奇的椅子 所以我喜欢这份工作 That's the magic of the chair. That's why I love this job.
我会遇到像你这样有趣的人 I get to meet interesting folks like you,
让他们快乐 让他们英俊 make them happy, and make them handsome.
哇！我是疯了还是看起来更年轻？ Wow! Am I crazy or do I look younger?
我可能没有发明输血 I may not have invented blood transfusions,
但我绝对是救世主 but I am most definitely savin' lives.
我不知道这件疯狂的事 伙计 I don't know about this crazy cat guy thing, man,
不过 乔 能和你谈谈爵士乐以外的事情真是太好了 but it is nice to finally talk to you about something other than jazz, Joe.
呵呵 为什么我们 呃 从来没谈过你的生活？ Huh. How come we, um, never talked about your life before?
你从没问过 You never asked.
但我很高兴你这次做到了 But I'm glad you did this time.
男：看起来不错 兄弟 女：表演得很棒 MAN: Looking good, brother. WOMAN: Have a great show.
（咯咯笑）我抓了几根棒棒糖 (CHUCKLES) I grabbed a couple of road lollies.
宾夕法尼亚州的女士：查尔马医生 请拨打3-1-6-2 WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Charma, call 3-1-6-2.
（嘟嘟声） (BEEPING)
泰瑞：嗯 TERRY: Mm.
（闻了闻） (SNIFFS)
嗯哼（喘息） Mm-hmm. (GASPS)
嗯 Mm.
-（钢琴声）-哦 -(PIANO BLARES) -Oh.
茱莉亚·查尔德直到49岁才成功 Julia Child didn't succeed till she was 49.
嘿 保罗 来 吃根棒棒糖 Hey, Paul. Here, have a lollipop.
保罗：哦 是的 谢谢 谢谢 伙计 PAUL: Oh, yeah, thanks. Thanks, man.
泰瑞：给你 TERRY: There you are.
22:没有难受吧？好吧 22: No hard feelings, right? All right.
只是朋友 Just friends.
只是朋友们在偷情 好吧 Just friends goofing on each other. All right.
22:好的 再见 保罗 22: Okay. Goodbye, Paul.
来找特里 Come to Terry.
-（男人喘气）-明白了！ -(MAN GASPS) -Gotcha!
（男人尖叫） (MAN SCREAMS)
以为你能骗过宇宙？ Thought you could cheat the universe?
嗯 你想错了 Well, you thought wrong.
我是会计 我是来带你进来的 I'm the accountant, and I'm here to bring you in...
哦 哇 你不是乔·加德纳 Oh, whoa... You're not Joe Gardner.
（尴尬地笑了笑） (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
我的错误 My mistake.
我们会让你穿上你的肉装 （咯咯笑） We'll just get you back into your meat suit. (CHUCKLES)
-（呜咽）-给你 -(WHIMPERING) -There you go.
没有伤害 没有犯规 No harm, no foul.
哦 孩子 听着 呃 伙计 Oh, boy. Look, uh, fella,
我在想没有理由 I'm thinking there's no reason
我们不能隐瞒这件小事 嗯？ we can't keep this little incident between us, eh?
错误总会发生 现在不是你的时间 Mistakes happen. And, uh, it's not your time.
除非你继续吃 (CHUCKLING) Unless you keep eating
那些加工食品 对吗？（笑） those processed foods, am I right? (LAUGHS)
-（脚步声）-（特里喘息） -(FOOTSTEPS) -(TERRY GASPS)
（保罗呜咽着） (PAUL WHIMPERING)
但说真的 远离那些加工食品 But seriously, stay away from those processed foods.
（喘息） (GASPS)
乔：你知道吗 你在后面做得很好 JOE: You know what, you did all right back there.
你怎么知道怎么对付保罗的？ How did you know how to deal with Paul?
22:我没有 我只是把我放出来 22: I didn't. I just let out the me.
嘿 就像你说的爵士乐 我在爵士乐 Hey, like you said about jazz. I was jazzing.
乔：首先 “爵士乐”不是一个词 JOE: First of all, "jazzing" is not a word.
第二 音乐和生活有着截然不同的规则 And second, music and life operate by very different rules.
上面写着拿一个 It says take one.
乔：别 或者去做 可以 好的 JOE: Don't... Or do. Okay. Fine.
“开着货车的人 ” "Man with a van."
我有一些 以防我们需要很多货车 I got a few in case we need a lot of vans.
啊哈 现在 让我们回到计划上来 Uh-huh. Now, let's get back to the plan.
我们走到半音符那儿等月风 We go to The Half Note and wait there for Moonwind.
现在是下午4点左右 It's around 4:00 p.m. now...
（大笑） (LAUGHING)
你知道吗？ You know what?
你真的越来越擅长用那些腿了 You are really getting good at using those legs.
-你为什么不试试跑步？-（齐鸣） -Why don't you try runnin'? -(RAILS CHIMING)
22:嘿！我做了一首歌 我在爵士乐 22: Hey! I made a song. I'm jazzing.
乔：好吧 爵士乐之类的都够了 JOE: Okay, enough of the jazzing and everything like that.
我们得找个地方 现在 我 We need to get somewhere. Now, I...
-22：（笑）那很痒 -呃 你在干什么？ -22: (LAUGHING) That tickles. -Uh, what are you doing?
（22叫声 笑声） (22 WHOOPING, LAUGHING)
（风吹口哨） (WIND WHISTLING)
（咯咯笑）哎呀 我得到了它 (CHUCKLES) Whoops. I got it.
（咕噜声） (GRUNTS)
你能快点吗？ Would you hurry up?
可以 Okay.
-（裤子撕裂）-（人们喘息） -(PANTS RIP) -(PEOPLE GASP)
你是对的 这条裤子松了 You were right. These pants are loosening.
（喘息）哦 不 不 不 (GASPS) Oh, no, no, no.
别让别人看到你的屁股！ Don't let people see your butt!
-22:是你的屁股 -不管是谁的屁股 -22: It's your butt. -It doesn't matter whose butt...
脱下夹克 把它系在腰上 Take off the jacket. Tie it around your waist.
快点！盖住屁股！ Quick! Cover the butt!
我们该怎么办？ (GASPS) What are we gonna do?
这么晚我找不到裁缝 I can't find a tailor this late...
哦 不 我们得去妈妈家 Oh, no. We're gonna have to go to Mom's.
22:好的 22: Okay.
不 不 不 你不明白 No, no, no, you don't understand.
妈妈不知道这场演出 Mom doesn't know about this gig.
她不会喜欢的 And she's not gonna like it.
可以 Okay.
我们别无选择 We don't have any other choice.
可以 Okay.
她是唯一能解决这个问题的人 She's the only one that can fix this.
-好吧 -别再说“好”了！ -Okay. -Stop saying "okay"!
我们得乘地铁穿过市区 来吧 We gotta catch the subway across town. Come on.
可以 知道了 Okay... Got it.
我妈妈对演唱会一无所知 My mom doesn't know anything about the gig,
我想一直这样 好吗？ and I wanna keep it that way, okay?
对 因为她认为你是个失败者 Right, because she thinks you're a failure.
-什么？-我没那么说 -What? -I didn't say that.
你做到了 在这里 You did. Up here.
呃 听着 我妈妈对成功有自己的定义 Uh, look, my mom has her own definition of what success is,
作为一个职业音乐家不是吗 and being a professional musician isn't it.
所以 让我想想 我需要为 呃 学校乐队的独奏会穿西装 So, let me see, I need the suit fixed for a, uh, school band recital.
（叹息）我不期待这个 但她没有理由知道 (SIGHS) I'm not looking forward to this, but there's no reason she needs to know...
✓我们会再过来碰碰眼睛 ♪ We shall come around To touch eyes again
如果爱是基础 ♪ If love is the foundation
¨如果目的是循环使用生命 ♪ If the purpose be To recycle life
我向你保证我会带我们到一个 ♪ I promise you I'll bring us to one
''现在终于流血了 ♪ Bleeding heart in the end now
尽管我们分开了 ♪ Though we're apart
我不知道 我一直以来 I don't know. All the times I've been
离我的梦想如此之近 so close to getting to my dreams,
（叹气）总有东西挡道 (SIGHS) something always gets in the way.
你知道我的意思吗？ You know what I mean?
''真爱是如何开始的 ♪ How true lovin' began
他很好 He's good.
我以前听过音乐 但我从来没有这样的感觉 And I've heard music before, but I've never felt like this inside.
当然 你现在喜欢音乐 因为你就是我 走吧 Of course, you love music now, because you're me. Let's go.
现在 亲爱的 ♪ Now, love
走吧 Let's go.
''爱 ♪ Love
''爱 爱 ♪ Love, love
''谈爱情 ♪ Talkin' about love
''爱 ♪ Love
✓爱♫ ♪ Love ♪
哇！（咯咯笑） Whoa! (CHUCKLES)
（惊呼） (EXCLAIMING)
嘿 别紧张 嗯？ Hey, take it easy, eh?
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
别担心 Don't worry about it.
是地铁 对某些人来说是这样的 It's the subway. It does that to some people.
-做什么？-它让你精疲力竭 -Does what? -It wears you down.
它很臭 天气很热 太拥挤了 It stinks. It's hot. It's crowded.
每天都一样 日复一日 Every day the same thing, day in and day out.
但今晚我一上台 But once I get on the stage tonight,
我所有的麻烦都会解决的 all my troubles are going to be fixed.
你会看到一个全新的乔·加德纳 You're gonna see a brand-new Joe Gardner.
（咯咯地叫） (LOUD SLURPING)
你从哪儿弄来的？ Where'd you get that?
在座位下面 你能相信吗？ Under the seat. Can you believe it?
还是半满的 （喘息） It's still half-full. (GASPS)
乔：好吧 记住 JOE: All right, remember,
我需要为乐队独奏会准备这套衣服 知道了？ I need the suit fixed for a band recital. Got it?
（笑声） (LAUGHTER)
露露：乔伊！哦 宝贝 梅尔巴：乔伊！ LULU: Joey! Oh, baby boy... MELBA: Joey!
-哦 我真为你骄傲 -…我们听到消息了 -Oh, I'm so proud of you. -...we heard the news.
-（李巴清嗓子）-（R&B音乐播放） -(LIBBA CLEARS THROAT) -(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
哦 糟了 她知道 Oh, crap. She knows.
你妈妈在后面 Your momma's in the back.
-你得进去 -不 我不想 -You gotta go in there. -No, I don't want to.
你必须这么做 我们需要把衣服修好 You have to. We need the suit fixed.
（深呼吸） (BREATHES DEEPLY)
你忘了什么 乔伊？ You forgetting something, Joey?
-什么？-吻她 -What? -Kiss her.
我见到梅尔巴时总是吻她 I always kiss Melba when I see her.
想做就做 Just do it.
不 不 不 不在嘴唇上 No, no, no. Not on the lips.
（喘气）乔伊！你怎么了 孩子？ (GASPS) Joey! What has gotten into you, boy?
（笑）让他说完 (LAUGHING) Let him finish.
露露：美洲狮 我就知道 LULU: Cougar. I knew it.
你回来后我再吻你一次 乔伊 I'll take another kiss when you get back, Joey.
（R&B音乐继续在扬声器上播放） (R&B MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
为追逐演唱会做了这么多 哈？ So much for being done chasing after gigs, huh?
我希望那只猫不应该是某种和平献祭 I hope that cat isn't supposed to be some kind of peace offering.
（耳语）来 来吧 (WHISPERS) Come. Come on.
就说你救了它 Just say you rescued it.
不 是我的 我救了它 Um, no. It's mine. I rescued it.
嗯 可惜你不能挽救你的事业 Hmm. Too bad you can't rescue your career.
哦 Oh.
（叹气）好好问问她能不能帮我修好衣服 (SIGHS) Just ask her nicely if she can fix my suit.
那么 妈妈 你有什么办法可以解决这个问题吗？ So, Mom, is there any way you can fix this?
哇！我不需要看这个 Whoa! I don't need to see that.
我知道 很尴尬 对吧？ I know. Embarrassing, right?
那么 你能修好它吗？ So, you'll fix it?
-利巴：不 -两个：什么？ -LIBBA: No. -BOTH: What?
乔伊 你要坚持多久？ How long are you going to keep doing this, Joey?
你告诉我你要接受全职工作 You tell me you're going to accept the full-time position...
它来了 Here it comes.
利巴：……我听说你又找了一份工作 LIBBA: ...and instead, I hear you've taken another gig.
告诉她这是不同的 Tell her that this one is different.
这个不一样！ This one's different!
这工作有退休金吗？健康保险？ Does this gig have a pension? Health insurance?
不？那就和其他的一样了 No? Then it's the same as the other ones.
好像你再也不能对我说实话了 It's like you can't even be truthful with me anymore.
好吧 我们会把衣服从架子上拿下来的 Fine, we'll get the suit off the rack somewhere.
我妈妈从来都不明白我这辈子想做什么 My mom has never understood what I'm trying to do with my life.
好吧 我们会把衣服从架子上拿下来的 Fine, we'll get the suit off the rack somewhere.
-（两人都喘了口气）-我妈妈从来都不明白 -(BOTH GASP) -My mom has never understood
我这辈子想做什么 what I'm trying to do with my life.
-22号！-你刚才说什么？ -22! -What did you just say?
哦 我现在能像你平时那样逃跑吗？ Oof. Can I run away now, like you usually do?
不 这次不行 跟着我重复 No. Not this time. Repeat after me.
妈妈 我知道我们的日子不好过 Mom, I know we've had some rough times,
但你是对的 but you're right,
（用乔的声音）我不能对你说实话 (IN JOE'S VOICE) I can't be truthful with you.
因为不管我做什么 你都不赞成 Because it seems like no matter what I do, you disapprove.
听着 我知道你喜欢玩 Look, I know you love playing.
那为什么除了教堂 我不在的时候你是最幸福的？ Then how come except for church, you're the happiest when I don't?
我终于找到了我生命中的工作 而你却很沮丧 I finally land the gig of my life and you're upset.
你不知道当音乐家对你父亲有多艰难 You didn't see how tough being a musician was on your father.
我不想看到你那样挣扎 I don't want to see you struggle like that.
所以爸爸可以追求他的梦想 而我不能？ So Dad could pursue his dreams, and I can't?
你父亲有我 Your father had me.
大多数时候 这家商店是付账单的 Most times, this shop is what paid the bills.
所以当我走了 谁来付你的钱？ So when I'm gone, who's gonna pay yours?
我只想着音乐 Music is all I think about.
从我早上醒来的那一刻起 From the moment I wake up in the morning
直到我晚上睡着的那一刻 to the moment I fall asleep at night.
你不能把梦当早餐吃 乔伊 You can't eat dreams for breakfast, Joey.
那我就不想吃东西了 Then I don't want to eat.
这不是我的事业 妈妈 This isn't about my career, Mom.
这是我活着的理由 (SIGHS) It's my reason for living.
我知道爸爸也有同感 And I know Dad felt the same way.
我只是担心如果我今天死了 (SIGHS) I'm just afraid that if I died today,
我的生命将一文不值 that my life would've amounted to nothing.
乔伊 Joey.
哦 Oh.
利巴：让我们来做这个吧 LIBBA: Let's make this work instead.
那是我爸爸的西装 That's my dad's suit.
利巴：露露 梅尔巴 LIBBA: Lulu. Melba.
把你的好剪刀拿来 我们还有工作要做 Bring your good scissors in here. We got work to do.
22：（用正常的声音）哇 这感觉真的很好 22: (IN NORMAL VOICE) Wow. This feels really nice.
-你真是太棒了 -非常合身 -You look marvelous. -It fits perfectly.
梅尔巴：你知道我是怎么做到的吗？ MELBA: You see how I did that?
如果我自己说的话 那是一套很好的羊毛套装 That is one fine wool suit, if I do say so myself.
-我能试穿一下吗？-当然可以 -Can I try on that? -Of course you can.
-梅尔巴：真帅 -（利巴咯咯笑着） -MELBA: Just handsome. -(LIBBA CHUCKLING)
谢谢 呃 妈妈 Thank you, uh, Mom.
雷会为你骄傲的 宝贝 Ray would have been so proud of you, baby.
就像我以前一样 Like I've always been.
你听到了 对吧？ You heard me, right?
这套衣服是羊毛的 不是涤纶的 The suit is wool, not polyester.
所以 别再把那只猫放在你肩上了 So, don't go putting that cat on your shoulders again.
两位：是的 女士！ BOTH: Yes, ma'am!
梅尔巴：哦 那里有一个漂亮的小锥子 MELBA: Oh, there's a nice little taper there.
谢谢 妈妈 Thanks, Mom.
哦 太神奇了 Oh, that was amazin'.
你知道那种感觉吗？感觉像爵士乐 You know what that felt like? It felt like jazz.
是的 你在爵士乐 Yeah, you were jazzing.
乔：哈哈 好吧 爵士乐 JOE: Ha-ha. Okay, jazzing.
我告诉你 乔 I'm telling you, Joe.
你真的应该再打给丽莎 You really should call Lisa again.
乔：我现在没有时间谈恋爱 22岁 JOE: I don't really have time for a relationship right now, 22.
哦 现在忙吗？ Oh, busy right now?
想等到你第二次死吗？ Wanna wait till you die a second time?
-酷 酷 酷 -（乔笑了） -Cool, cool, cool. -(JOE LAUGHS)
我真不敢相信我得到了浪漫的建议 I can't believe I'm getting romantic advice
从一个未出生的灵魂 （咯咯笑） from an unborn soul. (CHUCKLES)
22:我能想到更糟的 22: I can think of worse.
乔：在那儿 JOE: There it is.
（笑）我们成功了！这会奏效的 (LAUGHS) We made it! This is going to work.
哇！我真不敢相信我看起来有多好 Whoa! I can't believe how good I look.
西装 剪裁 看看我 The suit, the cut. Just look at me.
（笑） (LAUGHS)
（发散） (SCATTING)
（笑） (LAUGHS)
-哦 往右转一点 -22:像这样？ -Ooh, just turn a little bit right there. -22: Like this?
-肩膀倾斜 然后 -22:哦 嘿 那是谁？ -Angle the shoulders, and... -22: Oh, hey, who's that?
-从这边 -乔：就是这样 -And from this side. -JOE: That's it.
22:什么？谁回来了？ 22: What? Who's back here?
-还是我 啊哈 -乔：那是赢家 -Still me. Uh-huh. -JOE: That's a winner.
-对吧？-（乔笑着说） -Right? -(JOE LAUGHING)
这不可能发生 现在 我不相信 This can't be happenin'. Now, I'm not gonna believe this.
半音符 The Half Note.
（女孩咯咯笑） (GIRL GIGGLING)
女人：（笑）他让你付钱吃饭？ WOMAN: (LAUGHING) He made you pay for dinner?
男人：是的 MAN: Yeah...
（树叶沙沙作响） (LEAVES RUSTLING)
（深深地吸气） (INHALES DEEPLY)
（安详空灵的音乐演奏） (SERENE ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-乔：你准备好了吗？-嗯？ -JOE: So, you ready? -Huh?
回家 To go home.
我打赌你已经准备好离开这臭石头了 哈？ I bet you're ready to get off of this stinky rock, huh?
你觉得地球怎么样？ What do you think of Earth, anyway?
（叹气） (SIGHS)
我总是说这很愚蠢 但是 I always said it was dumb. But...
我是说 I mean...
看看我发现了什么 Just look at what I found.
你妈妈用这个可爱的线轴给你缝衣服 Your mom sewed your suit from this cute spool.
我紧张的时候 迪兹给了我这个 When I was nervous, Dez gave me this.
地铁里有个人冲我吼 很可怕 A guy on the subway yelled at me. It was scary.
但我也挺喜欢的 But I kind of liked that, too.
（22声叹息） (22 SIGHS)
事实上 我一直很担心 Truth is, I've always worried
也许我有点不对劲 你知道的？ that maybe there's something wrong with me. You know?
也许我不够好活下去 Maybe I'm not good enough for living.
但后来你向我展示了目标和激情 But then you showed me about purpose and passion,
也许看天空可以成为我的火花 and maybe sky-watching can be my spark.
或者走路 我真的很擅长走路 Or walking. I'm really good at walking.
这些都不是目的 22 Those really aren't purposes, 22.
那只是正常的老年生活 That's just regular old living.
当你回来的时候 But, hey, when you get back to the You Seminar,
你可以诚实地试一下 you can give it an honest try.
没有 但是我已经在你的研讨会上呆了几千年了 No, but I've been at the You Seminar for thousands of years
我从来没有感觉到这么近 and I have never felt this close.
乔！谁准备好回家了？ Joe! Who's ready to go home?
（喘息）月光风 (GASPS) Moonwind.
星星几乎排列整齐 The stars are almost in alignment.
乔：好吧 JOE: All right.
我马上就把你送回你的身体里 I'll have you back in your bodies in no time.
不 我必须在这里找到它 在地球上 No. I've gotta find it here, on Earth.
这是我找到火花的唯一机会 This is my only chance to find my spark.
22 你喜欢这些东西只是因为你在我的身体里 22, you're only loving this stuff because you're in my body.
当你回到你的研讨会时 你会发现你自己喜欢的东西 You can find your own thing to love when you get back to the You Seminar.
现在 来吧 我需要我的身体回来 现在！ Now, come on, I need my body back. Now!
不 No.
我在椅子上 I'm in the chair.
（欢快的爵士乐演奏） (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
-22号！-22:别烦我！ -22! -22: Leave me alone!
我在努力寻找我的目标！ I'm trying to find my purpose!
乔：22 你回来！ JOE: 22, you come back here!
22号！ 22!
女士：米滕斯先生 WOMAN: Mr. Mittens.
-（咆哮）-哦 -(SNARLING) -Oh.
泰瑞：在那儿 TERRY: There they are.
（PA上模糊不清的公告） (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
你现在就回来！ You come back here right now!
你偷了我的尸体！ You stole my body!
（音乐扭曲） (MUSIC DISTORTS)
（天乐演奏） (CELESTIAL MUSIC PLAYING)
泰瑞：你该走了 乔·加德纳 TERRY: It's your time to go, Joe Gardner.
（喘息） (GASPS)
哦 不 你没有 Oh, no, you don't.
明白了！ Gotcha!
不 不 不 No, no, no.
（裤子） (PANTS)
（咕噜声） (GRUNTS)
不 不！ No, no!
我要和多萝西娅·威廉姆斯一起玩！ I was gonna play with Dorothea Williams!
我正要找到我的火花！ And I was about to find my spark!
乔：找到你的火花了吗？我的生活终于要改变了！ JOE: Find your spark? My life was finally going to change!
22:你答应过 但你连五分钟都不给我！ 22: You promised, but you wouldn't even give me five minutes!
乔：因为你我失去了一切！ JOE: I lost everything because of you!
乔！ Joe!
你作弊了 You cheated.
-特里：找到他了 -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -TERRY: Found him.
-乔·加德纳 -你回来了！ -Joe Gardner. -You're back!
特里 你找到他们了 Terry, you found them.
泰瑞：不用谢我 TERRY: No need to thank me.
一切恢复正常真是太好了 而且 It's so nice to have everything back in order, and...
22号拿到通行证了吗？ 22 got her pass?
-哦 天哪 -22号！你有地球通行证！ -Oh, my goodness. -22! You got an Earth Pass!
-太棒了！-（重叠的喋喋不休） -This is amazing! -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
我就知道你能做到 COUNSELOR JERRY A: I knew you could do it.
顾问杰瑞B：我是克雷克雷 COUNSELOR JERRY B: This is cray cray.
但是 最后一个盒子里填的是什么？ But what... What filled in the last box?
我告诉你是什么填的 我做到了！ I'll tell you what filled it in. I did!
是我的火花改变了那枚徽章 It was my spark that changed that badge.
她这样做只是因为她在我的身体里过着我的生活 She only got that because she was living my life in my body.
-我是 -泰瑞：来吧 加德纳先生 -I was... -TERRY: Come on, Mr. Gardner.
（啪的一声手指） (SNAPS FINGERS)
咨询师杰瑞A：乔 是你的时候了 COUNSELOR JERRY A: Joe, it's time for you
陪伴22号到达地球之门 to accompany 22 to the Earth portal.
给你一个说再见的机会 Give you a chance to say goodbye.
当然 这是标准程序 Of course. It's standard procedure.
等一下 我要把计数调好 Just hold on a minute. I get to set the count right.
特里 你做得很好 Terry, you have done a super job.
我们从这里开始 We'll take it from here.
你太棒了 You're amazing.
好吧 谢谢你 Well, thank you.
恐怖时刻 Terrytime.
顾问杰瑞B：去吧 你们两个 COUNSELOR JERRY B: Go ahead, you two.
你不知道 You don't know.
你不知道为什么我的通行证变了 You can't be sure why my pass changed.
（叹气）来吧 22 好好想想 (SIGHS) Come on, 22. Think about it.
你讨厌音乐 直到你进入我的身体 You hated music until you were in my body.
你恨一切直到你是我 You hated everything until you were me.
（乔嘲笑道） (JOE SCOFFS)
希望你喜欢 I hope you enjoy it.
乔：呃 JOE: Uh...
我要问 你是怎么做到的？ I have to ask, how the Dickens did you do it?
把地球通行证换了？ Get that Earth Pass to change?
哦 你知道吗 我 我就让她走 Oh. You know what, I... I just let her walk
你可以说 在我的鞋子里 a mile in my shoes, you could say.
嗯 它起作用了 Well, it worked.
（笑）是的 (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
好吧 你应该去远大的地方 Well, you should probably get going to the Great Beyond.
嘿 呃 我们从来没发现22的目的是什么 Hey, um, we never found out what 22's purpose was.
-打扰一下？-你知道 她 呃 火花 -Excuse me? -You know, her, uh, spark.
她的目的 是音乐吗？生物学？行走？（咯咯笑） Her purpose. Was it music? Biology? Walking? (CHUCKLES)
我们不指定目的 你从哪里得到这个主意的？ We don't assign purposes. Where did you get that idea?
因为我有钢琴 Because I have piano.
这是我生来就要做的 那是我的火花 It's what I was born to do. That's my spark.
火花不是灵魂的目的 A spark isn't a soul's purpose.
哦 你们的导师和你们的激情 Oh, you mentors and your passions.
你的目的 你生命的意义 （叹气）太基本了 Your purposes. Your meanings of life. (SIGHS) So basic.
-（咯咯笑）-不 不 它 -(CHUCKLES) -No, no, it...
新灵魂：哇 NEW SOUL: Wow.
这是音乐 我的火花是音乐 一、 It is music. My spark is music. I...
我知道是的 I know it is.
22:我不好 22: I'm no good.
我没有目的 I got no purpose.
没有目的 No purpose.
（轻柔的天籁演奏） (SOFT CELESTIAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-（气喘吁吁）-G先生？ -(PANTING) -Mr. G?
科利 我成功了 我准备走了 Curley, I made it. I'm ready to go.
你太晚了 伙计 You're too late, man.
让我和多萝西娅谈谈 Let me talk to Dorothea.
不 不 不 伙计 她不玩那个 No, no, no, man. She don't play that.
这些说唱歌手的行为就像 谁让这个疯子进来的？ These rappers act like... Who let this lunatic in here?
听着 你得再给我一次机会 Listen, you gotta give me another chance.
这是我的乐队 我决定谁上场 This is my band. I decide who plays.
如果你不跟我一起去 And if you don't go with me,
你将犯你职业生涯中最大的错误 you'll be making the biggest mistake of your career.
哦 是吗？为什么？ Oh, yeah? Why's that?
我在这个星球上唯一的目的就是玩 My only purpose on this planet is to play.
这是我应该做的 没有什么能阻止我 It's what I was meant to do. And nothing's gonna stop me.
你不是很傲慢吗？ Well, aren't you an arrogant one?
我想你真的是个爵士乐演奏家 I guess you really are a jazz player.
告诉罗伯特他出去了 现在 Tell Robert he's out. For now.
漂亮的西装 Nice suit.
准备好了 乔·加德纳 你的生活就要开始了 Get ready, Joe Gardner, your life is about to start.
（演奏欢快的爵士乐） (PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC)
（演奏缓慢的爵士乐） (PLAYING SLOW JAZZ MUSIC)
（演奏欢快的颤音） (PLAYING UPBEAT TRILLING NOTES)
（演奏欢快的爵士乐） (PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC)
（观众欢呼鼓掌） (AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
欢迎来到四方 教书 Welcome to the quartet, Teach.
（呜呜） (WHOOPING)
利巴：那是我的乔伊！ LIBBA: That's my Joey!
（欢呼声继续） (CHEERING CONTINUES)
-多精彩的表演！-最后一个独奏很精彩 -What a show! -That last solo was brilliant.
太棒了！ That was amazing!
我不会再帮你盖那座桥了 I'm not gonna cover that bridge for you again.
-喔！稍后 G先生-恭喜你 -Whoo! Later, Mr. G. -Congratulations.
梅尔巴：你做得很好 我们爱你 MELBA: You did great. We love you.
我真为你骄傲 乔伊 I'm so proud of you, Joey.
我得上床睡觉了 我们老了 Gotta get to bed. We old.
（乔笑了笑） (JOE CHUCKLES)
你要演100场戏 其中一场是杀手 You play 100 shows, and one of them is killer.
像今晚这样的人不多 You don't get many like tonight.
是 啊 （咯咯笑） Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
那么 呃 （笑）接下来会发生什么？ So, uh, (CHUCKLES) what happens next?
我们明晚回来再做一遍 We come back tomorrow night and do it all again.
怎么了 老师？ What's wrong, Teach?
只是我已经等了一辈子了 It's just I've been waiting on this day for my entire life.
我想我会有不同的感觉 I thought I'd feel different.
我听说了一个关于鱼的故事 I heard this story about a fish.
他游到这条老鱼跟前说 He swims up to this older fish and says,
“我正试图找到他们称之为海洋的东西 ” "I'm trying to find this thing they call the ocean."
“大海？”老鱼说 "The ocean?" says the older fish.
“这就是你现在的处境 ” "That's what you're in right now."
“这个？”小鱼说这是水 "This?" says the young fish. "This is water.
“我想要的是大海 ” "What I want is the ocean."
明天见 See you tomorrow.
（出租车开走） (CAB DRIVING AWAY)
-嘿 伙计 -对不起 -Hey, man. -Sorry.
（奏着忧郁的音乐） (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
（叹气） (SIGHS)
（播放音符） (PLAYS NOTE)
（弹奏和弦） (PLAYING SOFT CHORDS)
（音乐继续） (MUSIC CONTINUES)
（烟花爆竹） (FIREWORKS BURSTING)
（音乐继续） (MUSIC CONTINUES)
（海鸥尖叫） (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)
（音乐继续） (MUSIC CONTINUES)
22:也许看天空可以成为我的火花 22: Maybe sky-watching can be my spark.
或者走路 我真的很擅长走路 Or walking. I'm really good at walking.
乔：那真的不是目的 22 JOE: Those really aren't purposes, 22.
那只是正常的老年生活 That's just regular old living.
（停止播放） (STOPS PLAYING)
（弹奏悠扬的颤音） (PLAYING MELODIOUS TRILLING NOTES)
-月光风：乔？-乔：嗯？ -MOONWIND: Joe? -JOE: Huh?
月光风：乔！ MOONWIND: Joe!
天哪 伙计 你在这个区域干什么？ Good heavens, man. What are you doing in the zone?
月光风 我搞砸了 我要找22个 Moonwind. I messed up. I need to find 22.
恐怕她已经成了一个迷失的灵魂 I'm afraid she's become a lost soul.
-什么？-我会在路上解释的 -What? -I'll explain on the way.
当你们俩都不回半音符的时候 When neither of you returned to The Half Note,
我怀疑出了什么问题 I suspected something had gone wrong.
我回到这里 就在那时我发现了她 I came back here, and that's when I spotted her.
（不易察觉） (IMPERCEPTIBLE)
迷惘的灵魂被某种使他们与生活脱节的东西所困扰 Lost souls are obsessed by something that disconnects them from life.
现在22岁的人已经活下来了 她也成了其中之一 And now that 22 has technically lived, she's become one of them.
-那里！-好节目 -There! -Good show.
（播放戏剧音乐） (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
22号！ 22!
（咆哮） (SNARLS)
-准备好网 -我会的 -Ready the net. -I'm on it.
她抓住我们了！ MOONWIND: She's got us!
（隆隆声） (RUMBLING)
乔：月光风！ JOE: Moonwind!
月光风：船长总是随船而下 MOONWIND: A captain always goes down with the ship.
一直以来 It has been a...
（咆哮） (SNARLS)
22号！ 22!
回来 22 是我 乔 Come back, 22. It's me, Joe.
放松 22 放松 Easy, 22, easy.
我只是回来给你这个 I just came back to give you this.
（咆哮） (SNARLING)
容易的 Easy.
22 听着 回来！ 22, listen. Come back!
为了纠正我们心不在焉的错误 And for correcting our absent-minded mistakes
把计数调好 and setting the count right,
我们授予你这个奖杯 特里 按你的要求 we are awarding you, Terry, this trophy. As you requested.
我很高兴接受我要求的这个非常特别的奖项 I am happy to accept this very special award I requested,
但这是我应得的 but that I absolutely deserve.
-（22咆哮）-（都惊呼） -(22 SNARLING) -(ALL EXCLAIM)
顾问杰瑞A：乔·加德纳？ COUNSELOR JERRY A: Joe Gardner?
我就把它拿回去 And I'll just take that back.
嘿 Hey.
哦 不！你不是属于你的地方 Oi, noob! You're not where you belong.
-（22嘶嘶声）-（特里·耶林） -(22 HISSING) -(TERRY YELPING)
（新灵魂惊呼） (NEW SOULS EXCLAIM)
顾问杰瑞：呃 （尴尬地笑了笑） COUNSELOR JERRY: Uh... (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
22 住手 我有话要告诉你 22, stop. I have something to tell you.
（咕噜）住手 不 (GRUNTING) Stop that. No.
（新灵魂笑） (NEW SOULS LAUGHING)
22号！ 22!
辅导员杰瑞：哇 小心！ COUNSELOR JERRY A: Whoa, watch out!
顾问杰瑞D：别紧张 COUNSELOR JERRY D: Take it easy.
-好了 好了 -没必要害怕 -There, there. -There's no need to be afraid.
顾问杰瑞A：别担心 冷静 COUNSELOR JERRY A: Don't worry. Calm down.
你必须停止跑步 拜托 You have to stop running. Please.
乔：22 停 JOE: 22, stop.
22 我错了 22, I was wrong.
拜托 你能听我说吗？你准备好活了 22岁 Please, will you listen? You are ready to live, 22.
（22声吼叫） (22 ROARS)
-（风吹口哨）-（22哭） -(WIND WHISTLING) -(22 CRYING)
我不够好 不 不 I'm not good enough. Nope. No.
没有什么 我只需要填写最后一个方框 Nothing. I just need to fill out that last box.
乔：22！ JOE: 22!
（用22的声音）你不诚实 (IN 22'S VOICE) You're dishonest.
你所做的一切都是错误的决定 All you make are bad decisions.
你是不明智的 你不会成功的 You are unwise and you won't make it in the world.
你太自私了 You're so selfish.
没人会想和你在一起 No one would ever want to be around you.
失败者 Loser.
哦 世界需要杰出的人才 Oh, the world needs remarkable people
你是我见过的最不起眼的灵魂 and you are the least remarkable soul I've ever met.
你永远找不到你的火花 You'll never find your spark.
愚蠢的 Imbecile.
-我帮不了你 -（声音重叠） -I cannot help you. -(VOICES OVERLAPPING)
22号！ 22!
22:我只需要填最后一个盒子 22: I just need to fill out that last box.
我根本不够好 I'm not good enough at all.
你永远找不到你的火花 You will never find your spark.
没有意义 There's no point.
（22岁的声音）那不是目的 你这个白痴 (IN 22'S VOICE) Those aren't purposes, you idiot.
那只是正常的老年生活 That's just regular old living.
这是浪费时间 This is a waste of time.
你拿到徽章是因为你在我体内 You only got that badge because you were in my body.
所以你毁了一切 That's why you ruin everything.
因为你没有目标 Because you have no purpose.
（乔喊道） (JOE SHOUTS)
（乔咕哝着） (JOE GRUNTING)
不 不 (GASPS) No, no, no.
（喘息） (GASPS)
（用乔的声音）没必要 (IN JOE'S VOICE) There's no point.
（22岁的声音）你永远找不到你的火花 (IN 22'S VOICE) You'll never find your spark.
因为你没有目标！ (ECHOING) Because you have no purpose!
-（低声重复）-我不好 不 -(MUFFLED OVERLAPPING VOICES) -I'm not good. Nope.
没有什么 我只需要填最后一个盒子 我放弃了 Nothing. I just need to fill out that last box. I give up.
乔：（像米滕斯先生）准备好了吗？ JOE: (AS MR. MITTENS) You ready?
嗯？ Huh?
来现场直播 To come live.
我很害怕 乔 I'm scared, Joe.
我不够好 I'm not good enough.
不管怎样 我从来没有得到我的火花 Anyway, I never got my spark.
是的 你做到了 Yes, you did.
乔：你的火花不是你的目标 JOE: Your spark isn't your purpose.
当你准备好开始直播的时候 最后一个盒子就填满了 That last box fills in when you're ready to come live.
问题是 And, the thing is
你很擅长爵士乐 you're pretty great at jazzing.
（轻飘逸音乐播放） (SOFT ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING)
但是 乔 But, Joe,
这意味着你不能 this means you won't get to...
没事的 我已经做了 It's okay. I already did.
现在轮到你了 Now it's your turn.
（咕噜声） (GRUNTS)
（呜咽） (WHIMPERS)
我和你一起去 I'll go with you.
你知道你不能那样做 You know you can't do that.
我知道 但我会尽我所能 I know. But I'll go as far as I can.
（轻柔的电子音乐播放） (SOFT TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
嘿！看一看！ Hey! Take a look!
（喘息） (GASPS)
哇！ Wow!
（咯咯地笑 呜咽） (GIGGLES, WHOOPS)
（大笑） (LAUGHING)
（呜呜） (WHOOPING)
（土通道轻轻嘟嘟） (EARTH PASS BEEPING SOFTLY)
（音乐继续） (MUSIC CONTINUES)
（音乐渐渐消失） (MUSIC FADES)
顾问杰瑞A：加德纳先生？ COUNSELOR JERRY A: Mr. Gardner?
乔：是吗？ JOE: Yes?
你有空吗？ Do you have a moment?
我想当我说谢谢的时候我是在为所有的杰瑞说话 I think I'm speaking for all the Jerrys when I say thank you.
为了什么？ For what?
我们在做灵感的生意 乔 We're in the business of inspiration, Joe,
但我们很少发现自己受到鼓舞 but it's not often we find ourselves inspired.
呵呵 真的？ Huh. Really?
所以 我们决定再给你一次机会 So, we all decided to give you another chance.
（顾问杰瑞A笑了笑） (COUNSELOR JERRY A CHUCKLES)
希望你能从现在开始注意你的行动 Hopefully, you will watch where you walk from now on.
但是特里呢？ But what about Terry?
我们和特里一起解决了 We worked it out with Terry.
（点击） (CLICKING)
嗯 太奇怪了 Mm. That's weird.
嘿 特里 那边是什么？ Hey, Terry, what's that over there?
马上看 Look immediately.
什么？你在说什么？ What? What are you talking about?
-哦 没什么 你刚才说什么？-嗯？ -Oh, nothing. You were saying? -Hmm?
你在说话吗？我不记得了 Were you even talking? I can't remember.
不要介意 Never mind.
好？ Well?
谢谢 Thanks.
你觉得你会怎么做？ So what do you think you'll do?
你打算怎样度过你的一生？ How are you gonna spend your life?
我不确定 I'm not sure.
乔：但我知道 JOE: But I do know...
我要活在每一分钟 I'm going to live every minute of it.
（深呼吸） (BREATHES DEEPLY)
（悠扬的钢琴颤音） (MELODIOUS TRILLING PIANO NOTES PLAYING)
（歌曲播放） (SONG PLAYING)
（嘻哈音乐播放） (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)
（说唱）说唱是名字 (RAPPING) ♪ Rappin Ced is the name
你应该把它做好 ♪ And you should get it right
像戴诺米特一样在现场大放异彩 ♪ Blowin' up on the scene like Dynomite
''乔伊G在钥匙上KP和汤米和我在一起 ♪ Joey G on the keys KP and Tommy with me
你想赌多少？ ♪ How much you wanna bet?
我们可以占领整个城市 ♪ We can take the whole city
你看到我们在岛上的造型吗 ♪ You see us stylin' from the island
✓一直到BK ♪ All the way to BK
✓布吉·唐恩发出了声音 但我们把它拿走了 ♪ Boogie down made the sound But we took it away
我去哈林区如果你知道我的意思就没问题了 ♪ I go to Harlem it's no problems If you know what I mean
现在每个人都向皇后的国王鞠躬 ♪ Now everybody bow down to The Kings of Queens ♪
（咕哝着） (GRUNTING)
嘿！电影结束了 Hey! Movie's over.
回家吧！ Go home!